The annual assault on good taste and health

On the dark side, my partner in crime, Ironman Al, was not able to be there.

On the bright side, by taking some customers, my company ended up paying for it.

You have heard me uh...talk? brag? whine? about it before...SHRIMPFEST.

It started reasonably...an order of Shrimp Scampi and a hand breaded.

But this year there was something different...instead of two of us, there were four. So the waiter began double-dipping so to speak..bringing large plates of one type shrimp for us to all share and individual servings of other types.

So round two, I had two or three handfuls of breaded shrimp + some sort of skewered fried shrimp.

Round three was Parmesan shrimp and another scampi.

Round four was another breaded and another Parmesan.

Round five was another scampi and another Parmesan.

At this point I was happy...I had matched my sad ten-plate intake from last year. It was a free-roll from here on.

Another Parmesan and another fried.

half a Parmesan and half a fried...it was sitting there, SOMEONE had to eat it!

A popcorn and another scampi.

Another Parmesan and another popcorn.


And finished off with a final popcorn and final scampi for a personal best 17 identifiable plates, plus some miscellaneous grabs at community plates.

Finally, I feel like I have held up my end of devastating things.

Line of the night (at which point one guy had finished eating and left for home, one had slowed way down and two of us were still crushing it)

Waiter: "How you guys doing here?"

Me: "Just getting warmed up."

Mr. T : "He is trying to beat his record of 13*"

Waiter: "Yes, he eclipsed that last trip."

Which indicates to me they were keeping tally.


So yes, this year Shrimpfest was an epic success. I expanded my palate to include the Parmesan shrimp and the fried shrimp, kept up my consumption of scampi which was new to me last year, and maintained soda and biscuit discipline to allow maximum shrimp carnage.

The ocean is a little shallower today...





* my actual record was 12...but whose counting? Oh...right....

I need a volunteer

You see, there is a real problem developing.

An event I have planned for nearly a year is here.

I have planned my strategy. Adjusted it. Altered it, tweaked it, perfected it.

I know the moves to make, the order to make them in. the plan is perfect.

I shall blow well past the efforts of last year and the year before.

The problem is...my partner in crime is in Washington DC with no current plans to return in time to partake.

Whatever will I do? The world will be a much inferior place if I cannot top last years 10 plate shrimp feast... so who is up for shrimpfest 2010?

Exciting News

My buddy Alan is in town and we are supposed to reprise an effort from a year ago.

See, we both love shrimp.

And we both eat. A lot.

In his case, it is justified. He does Ironmans and bikes hundreds of miles and swims and so forth.

I pretty much just mock people. Not quite as much exercise, but a lot more fun...

Anyway, last time he was here we went to Red Lobster for their all you can eat shrimp fest. I knocked off 12 plates...which paled in comparison to his 14.

Well, not everyone got to see the carnage. So this year, there will be an additional feature.

Yes, friends, if you stay tune to your computer, you can keep up with us as we destroy the place. Since I can "mobile blog" up to 160 characters, I can post what we order so you can thrill to the consumption of ridiculous quantities of food.

Can you think of anything better to do with your Saturday night than sit by your computer constantly refreshing to see how many plates of shrimp the two idio....GENIUSES are up to? I am pretty sure I can't.

And yes, you can thank me now for the announcement there will no charge for this service.

I know, I know...I rule. Go me.