Yes! The title is where it belongs!

I know you were all following the tournament moment by grueling moment. Who would make the next great play? Who would out-smart their opponent and bring home the trophy?

And now we know.

It was an American. By the time the final two players were the only ones left standing, we knew it would be.

What a great day! Wave the flag! Sing the National Anthem! Let your national pride be heard, for once more the World Champion is from our great nation.

I just knew on that last throw that Tim Bulkin was going to throw Rock...good thing Tim Conrad covered him with paper to become the 2009 Rock-Paper-Scissors Champion.

Just how a professional makes a living in a "sport" where the grand prize is 7000 dollars I am not sure. Why they have separate "professional" and "amateur" divisions is also something I am unsure of.

Oh, well. At least it wasn't chess-boxing.

So, uh...do you know what "ordained" means?

The borderline false concept of ordination is already something to be approached with caution. It is a shaky principle propounded by people more interested in having control over people's spiritual lives that God did not grant.

With that said, it is a very popular concept in the religious world. The process of ordaining implies a spiritual authority that "laypeople" do not have (never mind that according to Peter, EVERY Christian is a priest and it is therefore not possible to have laypeople).

So the following Craigslist posting is all the more funny:



Looking to be Ordained (Vancouver/PDX)

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Date: 2009-11-18, 9:20PM PST
Reply to:
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my husband and I are looking to be ordained. Non-religiously, or interfaith. As we are mixed faiths and want to serve all faiths. Need to be ordained with certificate to get moving with our type of business. Not sure where to go?


•Location: Vancouver/PDX
•it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests





Ooooooookay. So you want to have a ceremony saying you are authorized to be a religious leader...but you want it to be non-religious.

I think the line about it being a business says a lot.

Even the most cursory reading of Scripture speaks quite plainly about the purpose of TRUE religion; visiting widows and orphans, seeking the lost, following the Scriptural precepts.

Nowhere in there is it referred to as a business.

Quite the opposite. Jesus, when driving out the moneychangers from the temple, said the house of God was NOT to be a place of business.

So the preposterous idea that people want to be ordained and do not care if it is non-religiously, they just want to move on with their business speaks volumes about the ridiculous state of religion in the United States today.

I will take one Chuck Haukaas, struggling to put food on the table but seeking to help those in need spiritually, over a million clowns like these above. I will take one Karl, struggling with health and mental issues but trying to do the best he can to live according to the Scripture than two billion clowns like these.

Get some principles, you chowder heads.

Sadly, I suspect someone will indeed "ordain" them and they will pursue their business. I hope nobody I know ever uses them.

When is Christmas?

When you grow up rich in family but poor in wealth, you learn to appreciate things.

Holiday meals with loved ones. Even if the meal is "just" ham. Watching old 35mm films. Some years, the smell of sugar cookies, fudge, peanut brittle and such when we could afford them.

Most years we got maybe one or two small things. No big deal, It was great every year around Christmas because Mom and Dad always made it special.

Later on we had some "better" Christmases where the material things were in more abundance...I actually thought it was over the top the year I got a bow AND a remote control car...loved them both.

Anyway, we always were grateful for what we got because we knew it was a sacrifice for Mom and Dad to get expensive stuff (yes, to me 20 bucks was...and is...expensive).

I really think the best parts of Christmas were decorating the tree as a family, taking turns putting up our ornaments...we actually had monogrammed Winnie the Pooh ornaments, too.

But even in the best of times, out "haul" never matched that of some of my friends who routinely got a few hundred dollars worth of stuff...Atari gaming systems, for example...

Never minded a bit. They had more coin that our family, and it did not bother me. If I got stuff, great. If not, I knew enough to know it did not matter.. I did not want Mom and Dad hawking stuff or getting in debt so we could have some expensive gifts.


All of which means it irritates me all the much more to hear leeches already discussing their Christmas demands, with things like new bikes and hundred dollar gift cards and so forth...and knowing they not only expect those things, but will be exceedingly angry if they do not get them.

First off, Christmas should be a warm, loving time of sharing. Second, gifts, particularly multiple expensive ones, are a privilege, not a right.

If whatever Kennedys are left breathing choose to give their kids a Ferrari...more power to them. They have the type of bank account to justify that. I do not envy them or resent them for that.

But people who struggle to pay their bills, maybe they should rethink shelling out hundreds of dollars for stuff. Learn to be content.

I do remember a few gifts I got over the years that were, to me, spectacular. But I remember far more moments of sharing in the love and familial atmosphere and, truth be told, treasure those far more.

Learn responsibility, people. Furthermore, learn reality. If you have problems trying to find something to eat because a loaf of bread is about what you can afford, maybe expecting a thousand dollar Christmas is like A Christmas Carol; a fun little fantasy, but keep it in your head.

And certainly do not be rolling out that list 2 weeks before Thanksgiving.

Whagtever You Like

Great news! Coming next year, new cd from the dude I think we can all agree without fear of hyperbole is the greatest musical artist of all time.

"..the underwear at Goodwill is nice" might be the greatest phrase in the entire English language, too.







and a special gift...a Weird Al two-fer! If only I had even the faintest clue who the Charles Nelson reilly dude is or what song he is crushing.


At times I wonder

Sometimes we make choices that, when made, seem rather innocuous. There are clear threads of good running from them.

yes at some point, the thread starts to unwind, the unraveling that follows causes destruction in ways an places that lead us to wonder how we reached such a state.

I know this is nebulous, but it is meaningful and heartfelt as well.

I am dealing with a very personal frustration. It stemmed from a desire to put in force one of those "win-win" situations where people I cared about would be helped even as it helped those who were doing the helping.

And like so much of life, it backfired and did so tremendously.

Things have reached a ridiculous state of epidemic proportions.


I find myself forced into a position of defending someone or something I completely disagree with. I find myself in a position where no matter what path I take it will only result in hurt feelings, anger, disappointment, and hardship.


I wonder if the Good Samaritan Laws will get me off the hook if...never mind. Will not even say that thing because, though I find it funny, others would not get the joke.

So frustrated. No right answer. Only bad ones. Unlike my friend Junior Woodchuckette, I am ecstatic it is rainy and cloudy .Fits the situation perfectly.

I tried to pull the trigger tonight on doing the thing I guess I am supposed to do, but could not. Which means the situation will be worse on the other end. And that is even worse...or is it?

I remember one time talking about someone who married the wrong person and saying I wished the person in question would divorce the other person, even though I was glad it would never happen because it could not happen and have this person still be the person I looked up to.

Now I am in the same boat. If I do what others think needs done, it will be what needs done but will wreck me. And if I do not, it will wreck the vital relationship with the person I need to do it for.

Wow. How does someone who would float through life doing nothing get in such deep sewer?

Veterans Day

I have written before about Veterans Day.

I think the final 5 paragraphs may be among the finest I have ever written and I stand by them.

I am at heart a pacifist. I think the Scriptural admonitions to "Insofar as it depends on you, be at peace with all men" and, "the wisdom that comes from above is first pure, then peaceable" and "pursue peace and the sanctification without which no man shall see God" and "the Fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace" are pretty clear; peace is a virtue.

Yet somewhat hypocritically, I also believe in a strong military to defend the borders.

But not to be outside the borders.

In the end, I have a very convoluted position where I believe nobody who believes in God should ever be in the military in any position other than medic...maybe chaplain..., yet those who do not believe, have at it.

Keep our soldiers within out borders unless someone invades us.

And wherever our soldiers are at, keep them safe.

If you send someone into combat, there are tools available to make them safer...body armor, communications and surveillance gear, vehicles, numbers...whatever it is...then you have a moral responsibility to do so.

Joseph Stalin thought otherwise. He had a huge population, so they were expendable and he made use of that. Untrained, poorly or completely unarmed, ill-clothed young men died by the millions on behalf of the USSR in World War II. He did not care...they were expendable.

How was that any better than the Germans who sent millions of undesirable...and therefore expendable...people to die in concentration camps? Because they MIGHT be able to pick up a rifle that may or may not have bullets in it when another guy got shot, so MIGHT do some damage before being killed?

And how are we any better if we have soldiers in harms way and do less than our best to ensure they have the best chance of survival, the best chance of good care when some inevitably become shot or bombed or mined?

Iraq and Afghanistan are bad, bad situations. It can certainly be argued...and often has...that we should never have been in either location in the first place. I would say the same for Serbia, Panama, and several other places we have been (and are) that we shouldn't.

But now we have to figure out how to make the best of a situation that exists. Making a second mistake because we made a first one is seldom if ever the right choice.

In no small part, the problems in Afghanistan developed because after we armed and helped them rebel against the Russians, we left them to their own devices. I have seen powerful arguments that much of the rage against the US from some elements in that part of the world were over our perceived abandonment.

So if now, after having removed the experienced leadership, we leave under-trained, underarmed, unprepared people to face the onslaught of the leftovers from the previous regime, are we setting ourselves up to face the same problem in another decade or two, only now with battle hardened people opposing, will we have made an even bigger mistake?

I honestly do not know. In a perfect world, we could bring our soldiers home tomorrow. No more killing. No more wounding. No more orphans and widows and hatred and anger.

Unfortunately, this is not a perfect world.

Bringing them home tomorrow could and probably would lead to even more chaos and bloodshed.

What I do know is that, while they are there, regardless of whether they should have been there in the first place or should be there now, they need to be protected and cared for.

To do less is to dishonor them and our entire nation.

On this Veterans Day I guess the best we can do is wish for safety for all concerned and for wiser choices going forward.


It seems like a weak finish to what I think is an important subject. But it also is appropriate, because it refers to how best to correct a probable mistake without making it worse. And that is something that never has anything but a weak answer.

A little matter of slaughter

Among the books I have read recently have been things that studied some interesting eras; the Greek world circa the 4th, 5th, and 6th centuries BC. The Greek and Roman worlds from the 4th century BC on up to the 5th century AD. The history of the Americas from the `5th century through the late 19th century. Looks at the World Wars, Korea, and Vietnam.



And there is a surprising theme that runs through all of them.



Carnage.



Massive, massive slaughter.



In the Peloponnesian War (fought between Athens and Greece, with a multitude of shifting alliances on each side) there were times when 30 or even 40% of the population of major Greek cities would die, whether from plague or sea-borne warfare.



Other times 95% or more of small or medium size citeis would be completely wiped out.



The Athenians killed the people of a city they had invested. The Spartans responded in kind. Then the Spartans asked for Helot volunteers who had fought for them previously...and promptly killed the 2000 who came forward.



Sea battles saw losses estimated as high as 40,000 people on a side. It has been suggested by some that the slaughter was greater than even the single-day butchers bill at Antietam, the battle toll from Gettysburg, etc.

Nor was that the only slaughter in the ancient world. Far from it. The Romans had their share, both by and against. Their losses at Teutoberg and Cannae spring readily to mind...as do the complete annihilation of Carthage.

Do we even need to look at the Middle Ages? The dark stains on Euro-history from the Crusades are awful.

The US history in warring against the Native Americans is hardly free from massacre. For that matter, our record in peacetime ain't none too good...and it is not just the Trail of Tears to which i refer.

Anyway, the point is that throughout history, there have been instance after instance after instance of indiscriminate slaughter. Massive numbers of slain, often for no particular reason other than being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

And for all the killing, for all the carnage, devastation, cruelty and mindless destruction, one fact becomes clear.

It never really seems to accomplish anything.

The Peloponnesian War lasted for generations, killing the best and brightest and rendering Greece impotent when the Romans began expanding.

The Romans killed by the thousands in Germany, Britain, and elsewhere. They were killed by the thousands in Italy, Germany, Britain, Persia...and they just kept going...for a while. Eventually the Germanic tribes overcame Rome.

I guess one could argue the horrific war crimes on the Washita and so forth accomplished something, though the murder there was not on quite so grand a scale.

The Russian murder of Poles, the German murder of Jews and "the other", these things accomplished nothing towards helping either win the war.

For that matter, the racial hatred shown in the pacific where the kill rates exceeded those of perhaps any war since the aforementioned Roman wars of annihilation did not win the war, either for the Japanese or for the Allies. It was not until nuclear bombs wiped out even more people and more indiscriminately that the war ended.

So if few wars have ever been won by the mass extermination of huge numbers of the foe (or their non-combatant dependents) has generally led not to peace but rather to more vociferous and effective opposition...why do people keep doing it?
Ah yes, welcome back to the land of clouds and rain. Sitting at airport waiting for max and thinking, "was that guy on the plane the son of Nostrildamus"?
Sad face goes here. At nashville airport