The annual assault on good taste and health

On the dark side, my partner in crime, Ironman Al, was not able to be there.

On the bright side, by taking some customers, my company ended up paying for it.

You have heard me uh...talk? brag? whine? about it before...SHRIMPFEST.

It started reasonably...an order of Shrimp Scampi and a hand breaded.

But this year there was something different...instead of two of us, there were four. So the waiter began double-dipping so to speak..bringing large plates of one type shrimp for us to all share and individual servings of other types.

So round two, I had two or three handfuls of breaded shrimp + some sort of skewered fried shrimp.

Round three was Parmesan shrimp and another scampi.

Round four was another breaded and another Parmesan.

Round five was another scampi and another Parmesan.

At this point I was happy...I had matched my sad ten-plate intake from last year. It was a free-roll from here on.

Another Parmesan and another fried.

half a Parmesan and half a fried...it was sitting there, SOMEONE had to eat it!

A popcorn and another scampi.

Another Parmesan and another popcorn.


And finished off with a final popcorn and final scampi for a personal best 17 identifiable plates, plus some miscellaneous grabs at community plates.

Finally, I feel like I have held up my end of devastating things.

Line of the night (at which point one guy had finished eating and left for home, one had slowed way down and two of us were still crushing it)

Waiter: "How you guys doing here?"

Me: "Just getting warmed up."

Mr. T : "He is trying to beat his record of 13*"

Waiter: "Yes, he eclipsed that last trip."

Which indicates to me they were keeping tally.


So yes, this year Shrimpfest was an epic success. I expanded my palate to include the Parmesan shrimp and the fried shrimp, kept up my consumption of scampi which was new to me last year, and maintained soda and biscuit discipline to allow maximum shrimp carnage.

The ocean is a little shallower today...





* my actual record was 12...but whose counting? Oh...right....

Epic golf match with 3 ties and 5 lead changes ends in a 3 stroke victory over Al. Titanic game. On to shrimpfest

I need a volunteer

You see, there is a real problem developing.

An event I have planned for nearly a year is here.

I have planned my strategy. Adjusted it. Altered it, tweaked it, perfected it.

I know the moves to make, the order to make them in. the plan is perfect.

I shall blow well past the efforts of last year and the year before.

The problem is...my partner in crime is in Washington DC with no current plans to return in time to partake.

Whatever will I do? The world will be a much inferior place if I cannot top last years 10 plate shrimp feast... so who is up for shrimpfest 2010?

Tragedy

Shrimpfest has been delayed by the most ironic thing; a giant.

How did a giant stop a shrimp?

Ridiculously long lines at Red lobster. Perhaps some other day. :-(

Shrimpfest recap

Oh, the humanity. I was done in by 2 factors.

First, our waitress failed to appreciate the gravity of the situation. For the early portion, she was rather slow in bringing forth more shrimpy goodness. This allowed the stomach to realize the travesty of justice being foisted upon it and begin kicking up a storm.

More importantly, I paniced. Our tactis were simple; as each order was brought, we would order the next two shrimp refills. I started with coconut and at the time, I mentioned the flavor was so sticky-sweet that I should hold it at one.

Things were going awesome and I was well on pace to obliterate last years effort with well over 12 plates of shrimp. I was rolling.

But the Garlic Scampi took longer than most shrimp styles. Since my plan was to order two different flavors at a time, I wanted to do something like Scampi/Popcorn, Scampi/Hand Breaded type stuff as the breaded start to taste too similar after a few helpings.

No rude comments from the peanut gallery.

Well, as the fourth order (my 7th and 8th plates) was delivered, she started to walk off. I paniced and ordered coconut, trying to switch up the flavors.

And that was my downfall.

I had finished the first plate of coconut but knew I should not do another one. Then, in one moment, I blew my entire strategy. Had I properly ordered popcorn shrimp and garlic scampi, I would have had 4 - 6 more plates at least. But the coconut...

I struggled to finish the plate as the sticky sweetness turns into a surprisingly hot aftertaste.

And sop I tried every stratagem...I ate them simultaneously with popcorn shrimp. I salted them. I tried to drown them in Dr. Pepper.

But I could barely finish them.

So my night was done after a rather pedestrian 10 plates. Not only did I not defeat my effort from last year, I failed to even match it.

When seated across from someone who once nearly defeated the Vermonster, that is pretty much embarrassing.

On the bright side, I knocked back 5 glasses of Dr. Pepper to his mere 2.

But he finished off 16 plates of shrimp.

I easily could have eaten more had I not gotten off balance on my flavors and never been able to recover. This is truly a tragedy of epic proportions. I shall have to train before next year lest I shame myself further by only having 8 plates or some such wimpy showing.

Shrimpfest countdown is on. Little over an hour away. You are warned...