The top 4 signs you may need a new girlfriend

4) You tell people you wish her name was Spanish H. Because, you know, in Spanish, the H is always silent.

3) You tell people she should change her name to Payback. I mean, after all, Payback is a *****....

2) When she says, "Honey, does this make me look fat" your reply includes the words, "I don't know, all I can see is the humongous wart on your face."

1) When she goes to jail and is told instead of serving time she can pay a fine, he is asked to pay it, and says, "he refused and said he would rather save the money for himself.


The article says, "It is not clear if Schuster and Czerwinska will stay together when she gets out of prison." I suspect the only way they stay together is if, after murdering him, she commits suicide...