Why o why won't you use my service?

I keep offering, people keep refusing. Here is a handy checklist:

- mask
- unidentifiable clothes
- gloves
- escape plan
- weapon

If you think you need to rob a place, these are just a few of the things you might want. Here is a checklist of things NOT to do:

- forget to wear clothes
- wake up the people you are robbing, particularly by "rubbing spices on them and hitting them with a sausage"

But most of all, if you choose to engage in unarmed robbery using spices and sausages as your weapons, do not...I repeat, at all costs, DO NOT let the Dog Eat Your Sausages!!!!!!!!!

At least there was no evidence...