Congrats on a record so stupid even Guinness doesn't care

I have often chronicled some of the more esoteric records Guinness records...pieces of skin, miles on a stationary bike, number of people jumping on toys, most chilis consumed, phone call from the highest spot ever, and some stuff that, if possible, is even stupider and more irrelevant. Not that "world's longest fingernail" isn't a vital piece of information every school child should know, but really...does ANYONE not employed in the pursuit of stupidit....err, records or the record holder really care?

I imagine a lot of people get dates that way. "Yeah, I am in the Guinness Book of World Records. I once juggled 247 pieces of white rice without dropping them for over three minutes."
Her response: "Oh, that is awesome! Let's sleep together."
Her response in the real world as opposed to the loser's fantasy: "Get away from me, you freak, or I am calling the cops."

But there is one record so infantile that even Guinness refuses to recognize it. Tony Wright obliterated the record held by Randy Gardner since 1964. You would think an event this momentous would have Guinness on hand to record it for posterity...but even they don't care that Wright could go sleepless longer than Gardner did. That, my friends, is the ultimate in irrelevancy. Well done, Wright. Thanks for nothing.