Top 5 jobs you might want

5) Government Think Tank
Working here you can do all sorts of fun stuff like think up experiments to measure cow flatulence or check fish hearing. (Yes, the second one is also a real study that has been performed)

4) Politician
Lying, cheating, stealing, adultering...all part of the perks.

3) Moviemaker.
Because you get to dress people in whatever you want, have them do all sorts of crazy things and excuse it as "Oh, it is in the script." Really? You wrote the script for Bikini Models in Paradise and now girls need to wear stiletto heels and bikinis to a dinner function? Lucky you!

2) Small Country Dictator
All the usual. Money, sex, fame, the opportunity to murder and torture millions of innocents. Has the unfortunate side-effect of sometimes coming with early death but the benefits are nice for the 30 or 40 years it lasts.

1) Adjudicator for the Guinness Book of World Records.
You get to see stuff like a guy pedaling a stationary bike, the longest skin peeling removed in once piece, or 600 people bouncing on pogo balls for an entire minute. Could life be any better?



Can we just stop the GBWR now? I really think it is pretty far past the point of no return in terms of stupidity. Is there any redeeming value to it whatsoever?