Just what I have been up to. My presence online is so sporadic these days.
Well, for starters, the next couple weeks after a visit with my wife are always a time I really prefer not to be around people much. Nothing against them...I just know I will be a little bit snarly and gnome-like because the difficulties involved in not seeing your loved one every day weasel their way deep inside me where I am a horrible person and convince that side of me it is okay to come out for a while, that I am justified.
Even though the parts closer to the service tell me know, it is not...we made a choice, it is the right choice for us and is building a great future for us and any children we may be blessed with.
But until I can get myself back on track and get past those first few days when the missing her all fresh and anew part so dominates my thoughts, I am just better served to spend lots of time getting my head on straight.
It is so counter-intuitive...but as I posted a few days ago, I have to get used to her not being here again in order to return to happiness.
We spent a few euphoric days hanging out and being us, we will do so again in a month or two.
Meanwhile, i keep thinking I will complete the first book of the trilogy in just a day or three. I am working on the big finale, know exactly what is going to happen, just need to get it on (electronic) paper...but I do not want to write it while in the mindset I have had recently.
So instead I have started work on another book I have had in the back of my head for a couple years. It is still in the easy part...the free-flowing opening where the words come faster than I can type, the characters develop themselves, the plot shapes itself even better than what I had designed...
and I have managed in two weeks to write 10% as much as I have written in two YEARS on the other one.
I do not know if that is good or horrible.
But it is what I have been up to.
well, that, watching Shrek Forever After, Despicable Me, How to Train Your Dragon...over and over and over...loving it.
Almost ready to be a people person again. thanks for your patience.
What I wanted to say - Dear Tootie, You are no longer suffering, and for that I am grateful. I've gone through so many feelings since you left this world Saturday. Grief, relief...
1 week ago