If you waste your time reading the title aloud, it might come out "ironic, is it not?"
A few days ago, I wrote a post alternatively bragging about and bemoaning my newfound lack of competitiveness.
Something I worked towards for years.
The last couple days between events in my public and private lives, I have been under a tremendous amount of stress.
Tonight I found myself doing something I have not done in years.
I was dribbling a basketball, practicing moves, working on my shot...INSIDE my dwelling. On carpet. No basket in sight.
And working through my head exactly what i was going to tell my teammates before the next game, which boils down to this:
"Give me the ball, go stand where you like to shoot from, and wait. I will get you the ball there with no defender around or just score it myself."
Interpretation for those not into sports; I am winning the game myself. Just stay out of my way unless I let you play.
Further interpretation: That competitive drive, that will to win, that fire in the belly...what Stallone referred to as the "Eye of the Tiger" in his Rocky franchise...that sprung back into full bloom in an instant.
I can picture in my eye every step to creating the situations that I need to create to give my team the offensive advantage. I can feel in my bones every tension, every interplay of muscle required to move me in the right direction at the right moment to create the desired result...
Again, I see/feel/KNOW all this while as far away from a basket as it is possible to be in this state.
I find it weird that my reaction to other incidents causes my competitiveness to spring back into being full blown.
Time to rein it in again...
I just find it bizarre that I could undo decades of work without even thinking about it, just by walking by a ball at JUST the right moment.
Or, depending on point of view...the wrong moment.
As an aside...if you want to see a flash of old-school Weasel basketball...next Monday might be the last time he ever appears. We will see if I can undo the undoing before then.
What I wanted to say - Dear Tootie, You are no longer suffering, and for that I am grateful. I've gone through so many feelings since you left this world Saturday. Grief, relief...
2 months ago