The irony is...it never needed to be complicated like this.
From the very beginning, I knew what I wanted. I knew what would work best in the long run for...well...everyone.
But sometimes, you have to make choices based on what is important to others.
But when what was once a clear, obvious choice becomes entwined with too many cooks stirring the pot, the soup gets interesting. Sometimes it still works...sometimes it doesn't.
So ultimately, in my wish to acquiesce to the desires of others, I made a choice I did not want to make...and then that caused problems, too, even though I was doing the very thing i did not want to do.
And after discussion, then things changed again...only now there were more people involved and now there are more people with a stake in the outcome...
And the probable outcome changed.
So if it goes one way, some people will be happy, some disappointed, and maybe even some people a little hurt.
But if it goes the other way, some people will be happy, some disappointed, and definitely some people (including me) a little hurt...
Even though both ways will work fine.
But one works much better for me.
And is currently the way it looks like things will go...which if they had gone that way at first instead of having gone through the twists and turns would not have upset anybody, but now it will even though it shouldn't and was what should have been from the very beginning.
So now it is going to be less fun that it should have been and not accomplish everything it should of...and all because I tried to do things in a way that made others happy at the expense of a little happiness for myself.
Sometimes I wonder if I should be a bit more demanding of what I want.
But then I realize...if I were to do that, I would not stop and would be less likable.
What I wanted to say - Dear Tootie, You are no longer suffering, and for that I am grateful. I've gone through so many feelings since you left this world Saturday. Grief, relief...
1 month ago