Dogs on a plane

Stay with me. This post starts slow, but should have you laughing by the end. I hope.

Bella looks all sweet and innocent. Here we are, on the way to the airport to fly off to Nashville to visit the Goose.

Because she has lots of Chihuahua in here, Bella got a sedative pill.

I am not a big fan of pills and such for dogs, but I made an exception because I am also not a fan of muzzles. Nor keeping dogs in small enclosed areas, but at the same time, I know there are people who would rather I not bring a dog on a plane, so....sedatives and I will buy a carrier from the airline.

Well, when it came time to put Bella in the carrier, it was soon obvious that, sedated or not, there were certain things that did not show on her agenda...such as, instead of running around our big back yard, getting enclosed in a 19x14x19ish enclosure.

But I finally got her in.

The plane took off. She was struggling against the container for a while, but finally calmed down. I felt the need to experience an emergency calorie evacuation* so off I went.

Now, time for some background.

My seat mate was a 60ish hippie dude reading an esoteric tome on a rare form of gung-fu...no, that s not a typo. Gung-fu, not kung-fu. Including some pretty awesome illustrations and portions written in logograms, presumably Chinese.

I could see this dude out there in his pony tail, hopped up on Mary Jane, with the powder blue glasses at the end of his nose, wearing a Gi-cum-sarong with sounds of nature playing in the background as he worshipped the giant Buddha statue in the background and performed his kata in slow motion.

In short...the odds he and I would ever have a conversation are slim at best.

Except he was sitting real weird with his foot extended towards the under seat area where Bella was riding.

It soon became obvious why. I think I will use his words.

"Mmmmm-hmmm. Your mmmm-hmmmm...little guy wasn't mmm-hmmmm happy to see you go. Mmmm-hmmmm. He chewed his way mmmm-hmmm through the bag. Mmmmm-hmmmm."

I look down and sure enough, Bella chewed through the mesh wall and got her head and forelegs out of the bag.

"Mmmm-hmmm. He really likes you. Mmmm--hmmm. Wasn't happy to see you go. Mmm-hmmm."

And I am thinking, "If it comes down to Bella getting in trouble or selling someone down the river....I might have to call for a drug test, because someone is high right now. Mmmm-hmmmm."

But I should be kind, he was actually very helpful. So I pull the carrier out from under, unzip the top, and pull Bella back in, then examine the damage. I am in trouble, now, because I have no way to fix it.

Fortunately, the lady to my left gave me some twist ties which somehow, someway I manage to use to pull it closed and now I am forced to put the muzzle I bought on Bella.

My heart was not in that, and I put it on too loose, as evidenced by her slipping out of it in about 10 seconds.

Anyhow, the flight attendants told me they had called ahead to Vegas and someone there would meet me with tape (TAPE!) to seal up the side.

Uh, yeah....like tape would keep her in.

Well, in Vegas I had a 2-1/2 hour layover. So I let Bella stick her head out the proper opening at the top and she promptly fell asleep.

All was good...until time to board the plane. I fought her and fought her until I got her back in the bag.

And she promptly pushed her head against the side she had chewed through and popped the twist ties loose. So I open the top, pull her back in, and go to work putting the twist ties back, but she is head butting it, wanting to get out. '

So I have to open the top again to let her partially out so I can use the twist ties, but now they are too burnt to re-attach and the line is moving.

Fortunately, Bella is a Chihuahua and girls find that cute, so the people next to me in line held her long enough for me to whip off a shoe-lace, wind it through the bag a half dozen times, and then I put poor Bella back in the bag.

Now I am walking with a hitch in my giddy-up because I have no shoelace in my shoe so I have to kick up the toe to keep it on, with a hand firmly covering the the jerry-rigged bag repair and looking for a spacious seat assignment so I can hide Bella and hopefully keep her from barking.

Which she did, acting all sweet and innocent other than head-butting the side of the bag that was bitten open and held together with shoe-laces, so I had to keep my foot on it for the entire 3-1/2 hour flight to Nashville.

I am not going to say Bella slowed my reading progress, but the book I took on the plane was only 464 pages and I had anticipated having time to play some PSP after I finished it, but by the time I finished it after all the distractions with Bella, we were just over an hour from Nashville and would have to turn it off in 50 minutes or so anyway....so I did not play it at all.

The moral of this story is that caring about your animal so choosing not to muzzle her and stick her in a steel cage is begging for her to chew through her temporary home and get you involved in strange conversations.

Mmmm-hmmm.

* "Emergency Calorie Evacuation" is slang for certain bathroom functions.