Of sneaky dogs, lax owners and what Congress could learn

Please, click on the photo. Expand it. Bask in the glory that is Bella when she knows she has something she is not supposed to have.
See, that is Bella's great joy in life...theft. Thieving. Stealing. Larceny. Absconding with contraband.
You can tell by looking at her head, which is not large, that her brainpower capacity is...well...limited.
But she puts it to good use.
Most of the time, she uses her brain to figure out how to get me to throw the ball for her. And again. And again. And again. One more time. No, I meant one more time after the last one more time. Or maybe one more. Oh, just throw the ball for me.
And again.
I try to stop, but she is persuasive.
Bella 1, soft-hearted pushover 0.
She knows it is a game, so she does not bring the ball right back to me. Instead, she drops it a few feet away so I have to walk a few feet to pick it up.
And she gives me no peace. It is almost impossible to do anything. Making dinner takes about 6 times as long because she keeps insisting I throw the ball for her. Eating is not much better.
So this one time, I was eating pizza, throwing the ball again and again and again and again...and she brings the ball right to me.

I was surprised by this. I bent down to pick up the ball...and she snatched the pizza out of my hand.
Yes, she actually figured out that if she dropped the ball right in front of me, I would put the pizza where she could get a hold of it. Plan concocted and executed.

Score: Bella 2, Gullible Owner 0.
So I throw the ball again.
And again.
And again.
And finish making my tacos. So I sit down to watch some tv (get up to throw the ball for her), drink some soda (get up to throw the ball for her), and eat my taco (get up and throw the ball for her).
Surprisingly, she ignores me. Walks to the front window and starts barking furiously.
Now, normally when she does this, it is so loud I pause tv, get up, walk over, pick her up and distract her by...any guesses? Yep. Throwing the ball.
But this time, when I walk over to the window to pick her up, she runs under the tv desk, and by the time I turn around she has snarfed my taco and is out in the back yard with it.
Score: Bella 3, Unbelievably gullible owner 0.
But she is crafty enough to get stuff even when I am not home. Like, I left a half loaf of bread on the kitchen counter at the back of the stove. I came home to no bread, a ripped up bread sack on the floor, and a super fat dog.
Bella:4, ball-throwing numb skull 0.
To keep Bella from getting the cat (Cher)'s food, I feed Cher in the bedroom and close the door. Bella still manages to steal a couple bites almost every night.
Bella: Dozens, Owner 1/2. Yes, occasionally she gets stopped.
So the same evening she stole the bread, I have a tragedy. When feeding Cher, the top of the cat food container comes off and it pours all over the floor. I do not see Bella, so I shut the door and start scraping up the cat food.

And hear a crunching. I turn and see nothing. No Bella. I turn back, scrape in some more food, and this time, out of the corner of my eye, I see it...Bella's head shoots out from under the bed, looking like a Chihuahua Hungry Hungry Hippo .
At least I was not throwing the ball...
Score: Bella, 6, owner zero.
Now, how does this relate to politicians?
Simple. If they would spend half the time, energy and intellect trying to solve problems instead of just raising taxes, they would have a score like Bellas instead of mine. And we would all be much better off.
Get a clue, morons. Spend your time and energy better.

1 comment:

Riot Kitty said...