Sometimes I do not even know where to start

Squirrels are fun. Apart from being a nice sub-plot in Up they also give great fun by luring Bella out barking into the yard even though they know she has no chance of catching them...she probably knows, too, but it is a great chance to run full speed and do lots of barking, so...yeah, that will probably continue.

Now, I am no squirrel expert. I do know squirrely because I see it about every day. I know squirreling away because I try that every paycheck.

But when I see a squirrel, that is pretty much what I see. A squirrel. Furry, bushy tailed, fast, agile, and not afraid to cross streets on electric wires.

Some people, however, see other things.

If your neck is red enough, you might see dinner or a nice dessert.

If you are a driver, you might see road pizza.

And if you are Welsh, you might see something that needs a birth control pill...but only if it is grey.

See, the Welsh have a thing for Red Squirrels. So in a ruthless act of Squirrel Cleansing, they removed all the greys from Anglesey. Only Reds need apply.

If you are grey, we don't want you here. We don't want you taking our nuts and sending them back home. We don't want you living in our trees and bringing down their values. We just..don't...want you.

So all the greys got deported.

But those sneaky, dastardly greys snuck back on the island.

And people are up in arms over the illegal immigrants, even though they are returning to what was once their home.

So people are trying to come up with ways to keep those nasty greys out.

Suggestions have included 24 hour guards...


and forcing the greys to take pills that will render them infertile.

Yes, forced squirrelicide through genetic programs.

For squirrels.

I cannot tell you how badly I wish I was making this up.