It's all in the word

There are certain phrases that have entered our lexicon that...well...should not have. You know what I mean. Phrases that become ubiquitous. Coveralls for all occasions. Stuff where if you can't find anything intelligent or at least original, you can fall back on something trite and often meaningless. Not that the phrase itself is meaningless, but rather the way the phrase is now used is meaningless.

It starts early. How many times did you get asked, "Do you want a spanking?"
Well now, the answer requires some thought. Are we talking about something disciplinary or sexual? If it is disciplinary and that is a serious question then you need help. Of course, we all know it is rhetorical...so why ask it? Unless, as mentioned before, it is sexual...and then why would you ask it somewhere like in a car, a mall, a restaurant, or any of the other classic locations for the question? I find the phrase to be so pointless and counter-productive I just might start using it for everything.
Me going through drive-thru: "I'll have a double cheeseburger plain, a Hot Fudge Sunday, and a water to go"
Drive-thru minion: "Would you like fries with that?"
Me: "Do you want a spanking?"
Okay, I guess it works. And it is multipurpose. Walk in to a restaurant:
"How many of you will there be this evening?"
Me: "Would you like a spanking?"

Pull into a gas station, the attendant says, "What would you like today?"
Me: "Would you like a spanking?"

Okay, so I guess it works. But here is a phrase that doesn't. The other night or morning...or perhaps afternoon, I am not sure, I lost track of time...I wonder if I want a spanking...anyway, a football player was being interviewed and he was talking about how the coach was dealing with him.
"Yeah, sometimes it is hard, but it is just tough love"
Now, if there are two words in the English language that do not belong together, they are intelligence and politician. But if there are 4, then "tough" and "love" fall into that category. When I think tough, I think of things like the man Dad talks about who lived the last 30+ years of his life with something like 20 bullets lodged in him from where his gangster career ended. That is tough. I think of things like the people who do these iron-man competitions. Running, biking, swimming more in one day than I do in an average decade...those people are tough. And boxers...bouncing fists off each other's heads...that is tough (and stupid).

But tough love?When I think tough, I think of situations where maybe the two of you want to go out for a nice steak dinner, but you check the pocketbook and decide Ruth's Chris is out of the question...then you decide Stuart Anderson's might be a good second choice but it ain't that much cheaper...the Outback is in the same boat...so the next thing you know you are at Denny's eating a piece of salted shoe leather and seeing who chips more teeth.

You are chewing and grinding and moaning and popping ibuprofen and pounding with a meat softener and chewing and...well, then the waitress comes by and says, "So how is everything?"

You look at the 7 chiclets blasted out of your head while trying to chew through the hockey puck, the Mt. Dew that tastes like not-quite-fresh spring water with just a hint of dish soap, and the "spots" on your spoon that have been there since the Roosevelt administration...Teddy, not FD...look up, smile, and say "
"Would you like a spanking?"
I mean, you look up and say, "Great!" with that same smile the guy trying to get your vote has.

That steak is tough.Love should not be. Love is tenderness and care and wanting to know what is best for the other person and liking seeing them happy. Love is letting people know what will make their life better.A coach doing his job is not demonstrating "tough love", he is demonstrating competence. A parent disciplining their child is not "tough loving" they are simply loving and doing their job. Unless, of course, they are doing it by asking, "Would you like a spanking?" Because in that case, the kid has to decide if they want the thrill of a sexual advance from their parent at the cost of disciplinary pain. And that...that is tough, love.
Posted by Darth Weasel

6 comments:
Fullur said...
I am feeling somewhat disturbed by that final line. *shudder* As for coaches having tough love for players, I doubt any coach (unless Michael took up coaching little league) actually "loves" their players. :P
12:38 PM
Kev said...
I think that the term "tough love" comes from the fact that to most people love is a feeling. Love is not a feeling. Anyone can have feelings. Not everyone can love someone. Love is work. Tough work sometimes. If it wasn't, why would it have to be patient, kind, not boastful, etc...? Anyone who loves, and I mean really, truly, loves someone, knows that it can be tough to do so. No matter if it's a friend, relative, or spouse. The tough part goes right along with love, often without saying, but there none the less.Kev("Wuvvvv, twooo wuv" -Princess Bride. I now have this looping over and over in my head.)
2:51 PM
Sunny said...
All I can say is that you had me laughing!!!!
3:52 PM
jrwoodchuckette said...
Very funny! Would you like a(nother)spanking?