What did Peter ever do to you?

Everyone knows...or should...the poem/fairy tale/child's nursery rhyme...whatever it is...say, tangent here: at story time do they spice up their snacks? If so, what spice do they use? I can only assume Story time when they rhyme is time for thyme and if not tis a crime...the lowly slime.

Yes, this one will only get weirder. Sorry, nothing I can do about it. Just come along for the ride, it might be worth it. And hilarious. Or not.

Anyway, let's talk about Peter Cottontail. You remember...he kept raiding the farmer's garden yet we are to sympathize with the little rabbitly thief? Yes, that Peter. He had a lot of siblings. There was Flopsy. Good rabbit name Flopsy is, oh my yes. Then there was Mopsy, another fine rabbit-like name, then there was Cottontail, oh, jolly good one, you named your rabbit after one of it's anatomical features, and then there is....Peter. Hopefully NOT named after one of his anatomical features.

But what the smurf...PETER? Where did that come from? How many rabbits are named Peter? And even more rare, how many rabbits named Peter have siblings named Flopsy?

But that is the fate of classic literature Peters. Consider the case of the awfully alliteratively named "Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater"...like George Foreman, his father apparently did not have great imagination when naming his kids.

"Peter senior, your son is born. What shall his first name be?"
Peter Sr. "Peter"
"And his middle name?"
Peter Sr. "Peter"
"Uh...we got that one with the first name."
Peter Sr." I don't don't st-st-st-stutter, his n-n-n-n-name is Peter Peter."
"And the surname?"
"Pumpkin-Eater"

No wonder he had a wife and couldn't keep her. It is hard being a Peter. Let's look a little deeper.

Peter Pan. Pituitary gland problems, never matures, wears hideously unfashionable (and revealing) tight tights...if they were going to give him such a revealing costume shouldn't there be something to reveal? Just sayin'.

Peter Piper. What a career that guy had. It wasn't bad enough to be named Peter Piper, the poor fellow picked peppers...but someone pickled the peppers that Peter Piper picked and he had to pick a peck...poor guy should be protected.

Why is Peter always alliterative and picked on by poor jobs? Are all Peters poor as in economically disadvantaged? Poor pathetic picked on Peters, panning the populace for preferential treatment and positive reinforcement. Perhaps the power of positive prayer could do them some good.



Or maybe they just change their name. Rumpelstiltskin might be open.