This post might be dangerous to read

I remember the valuable lessons I learned from all the Golden Books (copyright symbol here if I knew how to put it in...I have never found it on my keyboard...help, technophiles! Help me Obi-Wan Technobi...your my only hope), Grimm's Fairy Tales, and so forth.

Things like...never shove someone in an oven unless you want them burned to death (Hansel and Gretel).

Never build a house of straw if there is a strong-lunged wolf in the neighborhood. (The Three Little Pigs)

Never trust Grandma if she has lots of hair on her face. (Little Red Riding Hood)

Never trust strangers giving out free candy. (Pinocchio)

Fortunately, there is now someone working to protect the next generation from learning these lessons. You can still watch Shrek light a fire with matches and flatulence...a stunt that seems quite dangerous to me, by the way...but you cannot have a dragon breathe fire because it is dangerous. You can watch the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles battle a giant can opener...the Shredder...but cannot have a heating element in red because that is dangerous. You can watch some numb skull build machines which can rend the fabric of the universe...Jimmy Neutron...but cannot see a kid climb a ladder because it is too dangerous.

Thank you, England, for protecting our children from danger in books. I wonder how I ever survived my danger filled childhood without their help...