When is a snad castle not a sand castle?

I know, I know...making fun of Guinness Book of World Record aspirants and "winners" is an old pastime of mine that I probably way overdue. Not as much as people overdue their pursuit of temporary fame for having the biggest ball of belly button lint or the most athletic quadriplegic moose or whatever, but yeah...I overdo it.

Then again, is it possible to overdo it when week after week the Guinness Book gets more ridiculous?

For example, Myrtle Beach decided they wanted to get into the book for having the biggest sand castle. So they built one 43 feet tall...11 feet taller than the second place World's Largest Sand Castle, to which a monument should definitely be built.

You would think they would be a shoe-in to be the new record holder. After all, they blew away the previous record holder...or rather, attempt by the current record holder to exceed his own record...by over 25%! Furthermore, to make sure their attempt would garner success, they checked it with Guinness to make sure what they were doing was okay.

Sadly for Myrtle Beach, Ed Jarrett thinks they are cheating and their record doesn't count.

Because, you know, it isn't taller than it is wide, they actually built it safely, they used tools...because sand castle building is so important. Way to go, Jarrett and Myrtle Beach. Way to make an already unbelievably lame and stupid record attempt even lamer and stupider. I did not think it could be done but you stepped up to the plate and proved me wrong. And I bet you will find a way to do it again and again and again. No matter how lame I find you...you will find a way to be lamer still. Here is hoping you all bury yourselves in your sandcastles, though only up to your ankles. Please have your ankles facing up so they are the last things to get buried...