Memo to the Orthodox

Charles Jay Wolff is angry. He does not like eggs. In fact, he refuses to eat them. How strongly does he feel about this? $10,000,000 strong...that is amount of the lawsuit he has filed in regard to eggs being served to him. You see, he is an Orthodox Jew and has decided they do not meet his spiritual needs to consume.

Now, far be it from me to criticize another person's beliefs...as a rule, I respect the deeply held religious beliefs of everyone. I realize we all come to our own conclusions and different people interpret what they read in different ways.

Now, I have a way of resolving this that will mesh with Wolff's beliefs, keep him from being confronted with conscience-searing eggs, and not require involvements of the courts or millions of dollars.

Mr. Wolff, since you are an Orthodox Jew and it is against your conscience to eat eggs, perhaps the best way to resolve this is for you to...oh, I don't know...not be in prison? So here is a thought...why don't you follow the other tenets of Orthodox Jewry and have them stone you to death for raping a 7 year old girl? That way you won't have to eat that nasty prison food and will be obeying the faith you hold so dear.