On music part 2

In the previous post I partially addressed the vocal talent, or lack thereof, of some of today's top pop artists. Now, far be it from me to be a music critic. I am not sure I can recognize a "great voice" as opposed to a terrible one. I find the singers on American Karaoke....err, Idol have voices no better and no worse on average than the singers already on the radio. Sure, occasionally there are exceptions...how Rod Stewart ever became a singing star is beyond me. When my voice rasps like that is is typically because it is full of phlegm. Which, coincidentally, is like listening to Rod Stewart...you hold your nose and plunge on.

I had a good laugh when the theme song for Robin Hood; Prince of Thieves starring Kevin Costner put together Bryan Adams, Rod Stewart and Sting. Great, 3 of the worst voices in all of music on the same song...though, to be fair, they somehow made it work. I never could identify whether Adams was Raspy, Stewart was Scratchy and Sting was Nasal or if Stewart was Raspy, Sting was Scratchy...etc...anyway, somehow, despite having horrific individual voices, Raspy, Scratchy and Nasal made Everything I Do, I do it For You work. I give them credit for overachieving on that song.

I like to think I actually do recognize a standout voice when I hear it. Though it was seldom, if ever, the type of music I would select, I do recognize the talent Dennis Day had when he sang on the Jack Benny Program. I also understand why Elvis made it big...and I do not attribute it solely to his "stealing" the "race music" as so many of his detractors did. Whatever other factors contributed, the man had a magnificent voice. Sometimes he used on some pretty stupid songs...Jailhouse Rock comes to mind...but he could really belt it out with the rich, full voice when he wanted to.

Frankly, there seems to be a push today towards people who very much CAN'T sing. At least the Hair Bands of the 80s tried to. There were actually some pretty spectacular voices...the tenor lead singer for Boston had a phenomenal voice that worked well with the music. Chicago had some great harmonies. Steve Perry was another strong tenor for Journey. The list goes on, but the point is...for the most part they tried to have some harmonies and to sound good. Of course, there were exceptions...I don't know that I will ever be able to tolerate the caterwauling on the Guns & Roses anthem Paradise City which sounded like a bunch of tune less screaming to me, barely qualifying as singing at all. And even that was good in comparison to crap like Drowning Pools where in Let the Bodies hit the Floor the lead dude goes from a hoarse whisper into a full throat ed scream. He knows he can't sing so he doesn't bother trying, he just whispers and screams horrifically. It makes the ear drums bleed.

I wish he was an exception but in fact he fits in quite well with the "rock" music scene of today where the worse your voice, the angrier you are, the more miserable your music, the more likely you are to be a star. I am glad Kobain (Cobain? however you spell it.) is gone. Who knows whether he could sing or not? He never bothered to try. Weird Al Yankovich did a pretty good job of pegging him in his classic parody Smells Like Nirvana when he said, "It's hard to bargle nardle zousss with all these marbles in my mouth" and the equally dead-on "What is this song/all about? Can't figure any lyrics out".

And people hold up Nirvana as a paragon of what music can be! Horrid singing of words that cannot be understood with barely competent guitar work in the foreground. Not that earlier music was devoid of guilt...classic "garage band" "tune" Louie Louie has maybe a dozen understandable words..."Louie Lou-eye....whoa, baby, now we gotta go" are most, if not all, of them. But it is more prevalent today. Sadly.

But as bad as the voices of some of the music stars is, as sad as their lack of instrumental talent is, there is something even worse. Look ahead to part 3 when I complain about...the lyrics.