Ah yes, the sweet taste of love

The headline reads "Girl bites Hamburger".

Now, normally you would not think of this as news. Well, possibly you would if the girl was a famous vegetarian or her name was Paris Hilton or Brittany Spears...apparently anything they do is news. Weird Al, in the theme song to Johnny Dangerously, the aptly titled "This is the Life" has a line about everything he does being front page news. In the video he is in a bubble bath holding a newspaper with the splash headline "Al takes bath", thus poking gentle fun at both the banality of celebrity coverage and our fascination with the mundane details of people with no useful skills but many entertaining skills. But biting a hamburger? How is that news?

Possibly because the girl was dancing. And the guy was from Hamburg. And he kept hitting on her. She got tired of it. So she unzipped his pants, pulled out...well, you know...and almost bit it in two.

Hard to believe there were mass quantities of alcohol involved in that incident...