Creating a defense

Imagine you are on trial for...say...stealing a computer or three. You are in the courthouse during the trial. What are the top 3 ways you can help your lawyer?

3) Write a book, "My search for the real thieves."

2) Send out Paul to find the real thieves, thus causing a dramatic witness stand confession by some random person a la Perry mason.

1) Steal computers from the court.

Now, the natural inclination is to think this would be isolated behavior. For example, you might think, say, a trial for an elderly couple who allegedly bilked millions of dollars would see a top 3 list like this:

3) Write a book "We are Elderly; Leave us alone"

2) Demonstrate the difficulty of eating with sporks, thus generating the sympathy verdict.

1) Get caught using the same scam in the court's lunchroom. Yeah, that oughta convince them of your innocence...