better than running with scissors

Not every mother can be a genius. For instance, I remember a fellow student telling how her mom always used to say, "When you are running with scissors, always be sure to point themselves towards yourself so when you fall you don't hurt anyone else."
Let's count the number of things wrong with that sentence. "When you are running with scissors"...not "If", not "Don't"...the inherent assumption her child WOULD run with scissors boggles the mind. "point them towards yourself". Does that one really need comment? It is funny enough already. "when you fall"; apparently, she believed her child was inherently a klutz. I don't know, I wasn't there, but I doubt she won any "Mother of the Year awards.
Kind of like this genius; http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2006/06/09/tech/main1697653.shtml
Lester's mother told The Saginaw News that her daughter has "never given me a day's trouble. ... I just don't understand with all these new laws protecting America how a 16-year-old kid could get out of the country."
Another strong candidate for MotY. Let's review the facts: your 16 year old daughter is on MYSPACE, famed for its troubled youths, people seeking...questionable hook-ups, use as a dating service...the other night, one of the comediennes on Last Comic Standing told the following joke: "Did you hear about this new site on the internet where you put in your zip code and it gives you the names of all the sex offenders in your area? Yeah, it's called e-harmony.com".
I laughed; because it is REALLY called myspace. Okay, in this case, he wasn't exactly in her zip: last time I checked, Saginaw, Michigan is not exactly next door to the Jericho. Probably a little less peaceful if it is near Detroit...
Oh, and Mom; news flash: the protections are to keep people OUT, not IN. Unless she dropped some heavy metal in her jeans or started flashing everyone, why would the airport question her? In today's world, I highly doubt it is unusual to see teens flying alone. And most people can't distinguish between a 16 year old cherup and an 18 year old off to tour Europe as a graduation gift. Unless she did something to make herself stand out...and considering the fact that she clearly had some intellect, judging by her grades, and was trying to blend in, that doesn't seem likely, the airport people did their job. No, the blame lies on whoever wasn't monitoring her activities and did not realize she was "seeing" someone...for several months. Moron.
Of course, you are still smarter than CBS Analyst Larry Magid. Why exactly is this kid a "victim"? Because she wants something she can't have? Because YOU decide it is wrong for her? Whatever. Her choice. I may not agree with it, but still...she is not a "victim" here. The woman who got waffled with the dead puppy...she is a victim.
Of course, I am extremely puzzled how she could be a "victim" when they "aren't even sure if a crime has been committed". Wow, well done Saginaw, Michigan police force. I wish I were there, I know I would feel safer...