Church; where people go for deception

I went out to St. Helens for church today. I learned a lot about how evil a church can be. Oh, I know, if you read these often you probably think I am going off on one of my Catholic hating rants...but no, not this time. This time I am looking at people I though were good.
I sat down, listened as the song leader called out a number, and opened to that page. Apparently my sister in law did not hear the number because the next thing I know she is looking over my shoulder, and wouldn't you know it...she turned to the same page!
Now, when I was just a lad, I was a good scholar. My papers always got good grades. As a result, I got used to people looking over my shoulder and stealing the answers since they knew mine was probably right. So look at all the crimes Stanica committed; she cheated by looking at someone else's answer, she stold the answers...
But that isn't all. I looked in the book to find out what the song leader wanted. Pretty soon I notice something else about Stanica. Not only did she steal my answers to the prior question and copy my answer for what page...now she was plagiarizing words! Just belting out the tune as if she knew what the words were. Did she credit the song book for her answers? No. So that is plagiarism. Oh, it is a dark day indeed down at the church.