on theories of male success

Some philosopher or pshychotic guy once postulated a theory that men are never confident in their success. They often believe they have achieved their position through luck and at some point their ineptitude will manifest itself and they will lose their position.
I have often been the personification of this. Years of solid grades have not disabused me of this notion. A history of promotion at jobs has left me always wondering when they will figure out I do not know what I am doing and demote or fire me. I worry constantly that I will not get a good grade in the next class, even going so far as to believe I might fail a pass/no pass Spanish class.
Even though I know on one level that my writing is very good when I want it to be I always worry in history classes. I do not know how much of that is because I do not get to choose my sources and how much of it is just thinking I am not smart enough and do not have a strong enough memory or organizational skills to get by.
That is why my Dreamcatchers project is so exciting. I am finding my own sources. I am developing my own systems for note taking, note gathering, thought recording, and so forth. I do not have to answer to anyone else, my methods will not come under scrutiny...it is completely ME working on this.
Even better....I am doing good work and I KNOW it. I can feel it. I can think on it and it just gets better. I have the ability to finish this project and when I do it will be good work. And I have no doubt about that. For once in my life, I have no need to feel like someone will figure out the real me and despise me for it. This is the real me and it is good.