Kingdom of Heaven

My human popcorn vacuum cleaner amigo Alan and I went to see the title picture this afternoon. True to form he pounded two buckets of the stuff while I managed a paltry small bag, although 50 ounces, give or take, managed to examine the wonders of the human intestines by about 5 minutes after the movie was done.
We went in with high expectations. Ridley Scott is good at serving up "popcorn" fare....movies that are fun, yet include a good mix of action. Perhaps Gladiator had a touch of the morality tale ideal, but for the most part it was just a good sword fighting action adventure tale.
So we avoided the Star geeks...seriously, people, it will be the same movie in a week or two when I see it without standing in line for longer than the movie lasts before I see it. I win that one. No, seeing it first doesn't make you cooler...get a grip, it is a movie. Not life.
We avoided them and sat down for a deuce and a half to watch a blood drenched tale of hack and slash. Instead, we got a religious form of Crash. It was somewhat thought provoking, somewhat overbearing, and thoroughly lame in the completion of some of the story angles.
Much of the movie had to do with the stupidity that surrounded catholicism in the middle and dark ages. Weaving a tenuous combination of paganism, Judaism, bastardized Christianity, and out and out hatred, catholicism murdered, terrorized, and fought its way through anyone who had money.
The priest prodding the erstwhile hero until he received his "justified murder" was not atypical of the way many catholic priests operated. Hiding behind their spurious claims that only they could interpret the Bible, they kept the peasants under control by claiming control of eternal destiny. Bribes of money or going to "kill infidels" over an allegedly "holy" piece of land were common.
Research Tetzel and his nefarious, used cars salesman pitch, "When the coin clinks in the box, your mothers soul is released from purgatory" for one fine example of what passed for religion. As bad as the Inquisition was, a period of inexcusable torture, murder and persecution in the name of God but for the benefit of evil, evil men, it was nowhere near as evil as the murders of the Waldenses and Albigenses.
It is no wonder religion is as castigated as it is today. We have 1700 years of killing in the name of a God who, in the New Testament, taught His followers to have peace, kindness, gentleness, and other people-friendly attributes.
The Crusades were a fine example. What is the difference between a "Jihad" and a "Crusade"? Just who is labeled as a heretic/infidel/unbeliever and is therefore okay to kill.
The Children's Crusade...certainly an event anyone should be proud to remember. Or how about the Crusade that started for Jerusalem, but instead sacked the Byzantium empire...a spin off of the catholic church. Yes, good people indeed.
And lest anyone doubt where I stand...it certainly seems the difference between the catholic church of the dark ages and the catholic church of today is power. I have no doubt they would happily go back to whacking non-catholics if they could get away with it.
KoH built on this theme. It used the priest who happily had the hero's dead wife beheaded to the monk telling people on the road to the "holy land" that "killing an infidel is not murder but the path to heaven".
Later, the evil wannabe (and eventual) king and his followers pillage and murder because "God wills it". Still later, yet another priest chastises him when he says they fight for the people instead of religion. This same priest later tells the people to "convert to Islam and repent later" to which the hero replies, "I have learned a lot about religion from you".
He is right. This was the religion of the dominant catholic...and truth be told, Muslim...religions of the middle age. The difference is there were times the Muslims were much better behaved.
KoH alluded to this a couple times. It is true that when the Crusaders captured Jerusalem there was a slaughter of Muslims. Of course, they also killed any "Christians" (and I will NEVER associate catholicism with Christianity. The two bear no resemblance) lest they miss a Muslim or two. The Muslims under Saladin showed much greater restraint.
Ultimately, the film leaves the subject of religion hanging and it becomes a tale of being "just people", although that switch happens off-screen, without reason, and makes no sense. It does not make sense within the bounds of the movie.
This could have been a great flick. Unfortunately, much like religion under the darkness that descended when Constantine decided to "Christianize" the Roman Empire, it lost its way and became something that, on walking out, I had to say, "There are two hours of my life I will never get back." I was wrong. It was 2-1/2.