Finding something positive in a negative world

I cannot speak for others, but I can speak for how I react. When betrayed on the most fundamental level, it is a gut-wrenching, heart-breaking, tear and sorrow inducing experience that dominates my life for a great deal of time. And this is even more so, ironically, when that betrayal is not so much against me as against another...but that I am part of the situation. Regardless, the situation and thinking about it dominates my life.

So much so that I was fully 100 songs into my I-Pod play list before I realized I had not heard a single song on it to that point.

That is quite unusual as generally I am out there making quite the fool of myself singing along with my Ipod.

Quite the fool because A) my voice cracks when I try to even remotely approach any of the notes actual singers hit, B) I like to shift the timing slightly on the songs so I am a 16th note or so behind the song itself, and C) the juxtaposition of me singing something like this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RSgZZ5JSG6s

(and it really doesn't get into the "heart" of the song until the 3:55 mark) to the song in my ear buds against the ear-bleeding causing tones of ACD-screeches Back in Black or Highway to hell or maybe Guns & Raucousness's paean to lust, Paradise City or even Motley Crap "singing" Girls, Girls Girls...whatever the background song happens to be at the moment, the juxtaposition is quite jarring and makes very little sense.

Anyway, when I get over a third of the way through my play list of songs similar to that and am so dominated by thoughts over my disappointment...a mild word for how I feel...at others, it speaks to how distressed and disturbed I am.

Couple that with another long week in the making. We generally leave the house about 3:00 in the afternoon. We start work at 4:30. Last night we got done at 4:45.

For those weak in math, that means I had a really, really long day. Got home a bit after 5:30 so I was gone over 14-1/2 hours. I am known for how much I love being at home. That is not a good thing.

On the bright side, I do have two things to look forward to that I am really trying to shift my focus to.

The first is the furthest away.

The first week of November I get to see...someone, don't exactly remember who.

Sure wish there was some way to remember who it is...oh well, I am sure it will come to me at some point.

Second, and sooner, something starts up real soon...Tuesday, October 6th, to be exact...it is time for something else that I really enjoy.

So there is some good stuff on the horizon. Saturday I should be getting together with Alan and with Riot Kitty at various points in the day, so that is always a positive. Sunday will either be with my brother and his wife or painting a model I am anxious to finish.

I know others are working behind the scenes on the situation and I need to have faith that God is true to His promises and part of that is finding ways to look forward to the positives in my life rather than dwelling on things outside my control.

In fact, maybe I should queue up the Gold City classic to start my day.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lEPVIVrXcro

"We need a three pointer real bad"

Though it might seem like it at first, this post is not about basketball. It just starts that way because it is such a beautiful illustration.

Growing up I had a friend whom we shall call John as in John Doe. John loved to play basketball. The only problem was...he wasn't very good at it.

He was short and slow which he made up for by not understanding the game overly well from a "how to minimize your limitations standpoint".

Fortunately for him, the local High School team wasn't very good either so he made the team as second string bench warmer.

For those who don't follow sports, that means he would get into a game when it was over but there was time left on the clock...like a minute left and the team down by 20 points.

His Dad did not get that. We showed up for every game (we did have another friend who was on the team and was a very talented player...started, in fact) and often I would sit next to John Sr.

The game would start and within a minute, john Sr. would say, "They should put John in. We need a three pointer real bad".

I wish you could hear it in that special "no longer part of the south but still have the Oklahoma drawl tinging my accent" sound he had.

You would look at the scoreboard and it might be 2-0 or 8-4 or some similar score where the game, so early into it, would not be greatly affected one way or the other by a single three.

The coach, who was not a very good coach, was still good enough to realize that putting John in was not best for the team. He thought being inserted into the line-up was a green light to shoot whenever he touched the ball. John took the old shooters adage, "the only bad shot is the one he didn't take" and turned it into "the only bad shot is one anyone else on the team takes when i am in the game".

His long-range, off-balance, contested bricks led to fast-breaks for the opponents, often turned into 3-point plays when John would try to hustle back to defend. The problem was, he was so slow he could start back on defense before the ball was rebounded and still trail by several steps when the opponents were laying the ball in.

He would often try to correct this with some of the most aggressive, borderline dirty fouls it was ever my privilege to witness on a high school basketball floor.

None of that mattered to John Sr. All he saw was his son whom he loved a great deal sitting on the bench and he sat there thinking that should John get into the game he would naturally rain a barrage of treys on the hapless opposition, win the game single-handed and be swept off the floor on the shoulders of his jubilant teammates.

John Sr. was so blinded by love of his son that he could not see the reality of the situation.

The question is; if that is the situation, that a person is so blinded by their desire to see good for another person that they cannot accurately deal with a situation, is that a good thing?

When someone develops an agenda quite apart from reality, an agenda that can only end in sadness or injury or disappointment or outright damage, how can you kindly show it to them?

To the day he died John Sr. had great pride in his son, a fact everyone knew...except maybe his son. John Sr. never figured out how to show that same enthusiastic pride and desire for good things to his son that he showed for his son to other people.

People sometimes tried to show John Sr. a different way to deal with John j but it never really happened.

The sad moral of this surprisingly depressing story is sometimes people are so blinded by their agenda that they will not...or perhaps even can not see the truth, cannot see the damage they are doing.

I study and pray every day to see to it that my agendas are not my own. I work hard to study issues from multiple angles and see if I cannot see the point of view of other people.

That is not to say I am perfect. Far from it. I am more aware of my flaws, many and deep, than even those closest to me are. And I am ever searching for more flaws and trying to work on them.

The three things I work hardest on this list of things I try to grow in every day of my life are peace, patience and self-control.

And it is a constant struggle in every facet. But if I work on achieving the entire list, certainly, but specifically those three then I will be able to avoid ever having an agenda that is my own and will have Gods' agenda in mind at all times.

And if I can do that, I will not be so blinded by my own desires, even if they are well-meaning, that I ignore truth in pursuit of my own agenda.

Just and Compassionate

18 Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise: When as his mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost.

19 Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not willing to make her a public example, was minded to put her away privily.

Matthew 1:18-19, King James Version

If not for the intervention of God, there would be no question that Mary had acted sinfully. Sex outside of marriage, or fornication in Biblical terms, was well-known as prohibited by God. Clearly, Joseph knew he had not had relations with her and for her to be with child meant she had to have acted sinfully.

But this post is not about Mary nor, completely, about Joseph. Rather, it is about attitudes.

It says Joseph was a just man and that was his motivation for wishing to keep the matter private.

But does not justice demand a person pay for their crimes?

Apparently not. Joseph is praised for being a just man because he did not wish to bring it up publicly. Had he dealt with it publicly, it would have doomed Mary to a life as an outcast at best and possibly much worse. Yet by dealing with the matter privately, it gave her an opportunity to stay within the good graces of society which would improve her future prospects for a happy life.

Of course, if we are familiar with the Biblical story we know she was not, in fact, guilty of that sin and was instead blessed with bearing the Savior of all mankind. But that is beside the point.

The point is the mercy and compassion shown by Joseph towards one who appeared to have acted wrongly was what showed him to be a just man.

It is a lesson we should all take to heart. Instead of seeking out opportunities to vilify, publicly condemn and humiliate people who seem to have gone astray, we should instead seek out ways to minimize the damage done to and by them.

That is not to say we should ignore wrong but rather temper our reaction to it.

I would refer to one of the most mis-quoted, mis-used and abused of all Scriptures:

1Judge not, that ye be not judged

2 For with what judgement ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.

Matthew 7: 1-2, King James Version

People tend to repeat verse one without reading or referring to the preceding or following material and any verse taken out of context is quite likely to lead to false conclusions.

Instead, it seems to be saying much the same thing as was said about Joseph; be merciful in judgment, realizing you yourself have much to ask forgiveness for.

Certainly it is my goal to continue making this principle of mercy and compassion an ever-greater part of my life.