Needless to say

There are a lot of banal phrases, slang terms, etc. that enter the lexicon.

Sounds like a great name for a movie about a kung-fu expert trying to modify the dictionary: "Enter the Lexicon"*.

But that is not the point of this literary monologue. No indeed. On the day it is announced Disney purchased the Star Wars franchise and plans 3 new movies, it seems likely we will see another C3P0/Jar-Jar Binks type character or, worse yet, Hayden Christensen "star", I feel oddly compelled to write about completely unnecessary and/or annoying things in social life.

Like Twitter. Can that just die already? I hate it when I am innocently plopped on my bicycle trainer, pedaling along, watching a basketball game that is a blowout. Some team rattles off a record-setting number of points in the first half and we are "blessed" with a constant stream of random strangers making such must-know, unlikely to have been thought of comment like "team is playing well!" only to be topped by "team scoring many points!"

Thank you for wasting my time. Cribbing what should be a more famous phrase (and I am totally going to Biden it so forget looking for the citation), everyone in the audience is a little bit stupider for having been exposed to the presence of your statement, Captain Obvious.

Screw that. You are not smart enough to be a Captain. Nor are you well known. Lets try that again.

Everyone in the audience is a little bit stupider for having been exposed to the presence of your statement, Private Moron.

Not that the Twits....err, Tweets...from "stars" are any better.

But, like any good play, I showed a gun in the title and it is time for it to go off.** Needless to say, this post is really about the phrase, "needless to say".

You have heard the joke before, "If it is needless to say, why did you say it?" Well, the answer, needless to say, is      .

And that applies everywhere. Just think of how much time and energy we would all save if we stopped saying stuff that was needless to say.

"Are you going to see that new movie starring Hayden Christensen?" saw above how I feel about Hayden. Needless to say,    . Not only that, if I DO lose every remaining brain cell still functioning, I will absolutely eviscerate it in my review. And people will agree with me. They will agree with me because...well, needless to say     .

"Are you going to Taco Bell this week?"
Knowing as I do that the Doritos Tacos are tastier than seventeen layer cake, yes, needless to say   . And, as I said at the end of the last sentence and only repeat for completeness, 3 times is probably not enough. Needless to say,     .

The real irony here is...much of what people SAY is needless to say actually needs to be said to be understood.

"Are you voting for the guy who led us to the record-setting single year deficit or the guy who wants to top that?" Needless to say, I will be voting for...

"Are you voting for the guy who has such a complete lack of knowledge about this country that he thinks there are 57 states or for the guy in a state of denial...wait, they are both in denial, find another joke....the guy in a state of flux on his positions?"
Needless to say, I will be voting for

"Are you going to vote for the guy you find morally reprehensible or the guy you find morally abominable?"

Needless to say, I will be voting for    .

"Are you going to work today?"
Well, I need the money, so needless to say    .

The point is, if all these things are needless to say....WHY IS ANYONE IN THIS COUNTRY VOTING FOR EITHER MAJOR PARTY CANDIDATE?

Things need to be said. Things like "I will vote for neither the guy who doesn't know how many states he wants to be President of nor for the guy who claims positions  he then says he will not back up with legislation." That needs to be said.

Things like, "I will vote neither for the guy who ran record setting yearly deficits, thinks fewer jobs than when he entered office means more jobs exist, nor for the guy who has no record of helping in either of those matters. That needs to be said.

Needless to say, this started out intended to be funny but turned tragic. And as long as the sheeple keep voting for the two majors because "A vote for a good candidate is a vote for my favorite candidates' opponent" is an accepted falsehood masquerading as truth, people will continue to think this country is getting worse.

Never mind that despite the admitted and continuing train wrecks that have occupied the Oval Office, the incompetent, capricious, dishonest and often criminal people who make up the legislative bodies...this is still a country considered so advantageous that people risk life, limb and liberty to come here.

Never mind that we live in a country where "underprivileged, underserved" youth can become multi-millionaires with either their body or their brain, depending on whether they prefer sports or scholastics.

Never mind that once-privileged, over-served youth can be next generations underprivileged, underserved youth through their own lack of effort or intellect.

Never mind there are a host of results in between.

We do not want to believe we have a good place and time to live so we tear down the opposition.

I have to laugh at the political ads I have seen for local races. The next one that does not seem more like an ad for the opponent because the attacks point out the things I admire in that candidate are so vicious it shows me the fear of the people paying for that ad.

Needless to say, I think the political process is deeply flawed and needs improvement...but I am just happy to have a place to start a whine about excess phrases and turn it into an attack on both major parties.

* Jokes you have to explain are not funny so I am not going to explain this one. It is a reference to Enter the Dragon

** I am not going to explain pop culture references that every educated person knows. Needless to say, I am not going to tell you this references the phrase, "If you show a gun in the first act, you must fire it in the second or third" or something similar; that is close enough to how Anton Chekhov said it.


Riot Kitty said...

I have often wondered: should the verb when you are doing the Twitter stuff be "Twitting" and not "Tweeting"?

Darth Weasel said...

I think twitting because most tweets are twits....and that says something about the tweeters