I heard the drawer slide open and the little gasp of astonishment.
"Oh! Can I take that?" she asked.
Since it was not the bedroom she was in, I had to assume whatever she found in the drawer was something she meant, "Can I take that in my suitcase when I return to Nebraska, not the thought that probably was more likely to spring to mind for some of my more...shall we say sensuous readers?
"Sure" I replied, not bothering to look at what she was referring to.
This was clue number one it was okay for her to take it. Seriously, she worked so hard getting through school I cannot think of anything I would refuse her. Maybe if she asked me to get a Brazilian bikini wax...I might refuse that. But other than that...pretty much hers for the asking.
"You did not even look at what it was."
So I journeyed into the kitchen. In her hand she held a device I had never seen before.
"Uh, no. You cannot take that." I said ironically. "What exactly is it? Where did it come from?"
She pointed to the drawer closest to the refrigerator.
"I am not sure I have ever even opened that drawer," I said. "You are welcome to anything from it."
"We have three" she said. "Are you sure it is okay if I take it?"
"Pretty sure, yeah. Take two. take all three. What is it?"
"It is an apple slicer."
"Oh." I took a few minutes to digest this information. Studied it. "Oh, that is good. I quit eating apples because they are not worth the effort. This would change that. I might take one to work."
"Oh, okay, then I will just leave them here."
"Nah, we have three. I only want one. Please, please...take at least one and preferably two."
Finally convinced, she did. And having discovered something new, I was pretty excited. I was able to try something new. And it works awesome.
I am now able to eat apples at will. This is a great step forward for me and I am very excited about. By trying something new, I gained a new, beneficial, and positive experience.
It was an unusual step for me. One of my biggest, most glaring character flaws is my stubborn, unyielding, uncompromising way of not trying new things. If I have not done it before I see no need to start now.
On a completely random, unrelated, non-sequiter style note, I have missed out on many wonderful opportunities in life due to my unwillingness to try new things.
Another door slides open. "Can I take this?"
"What is it?"
"We have three."
"Yeah, I haven't used one since...uh...well, about ten years before we got married. Take all three."
"No, I will just take one. I want the electric one, but I will leave that for you."
I gave her kind of a quizzical look. "Why? I don't have a single can here in the apartment. I cannot remember the last can I actually opened. You want it, and more importantly, you will actually USE it."
After a bit more conversation, largely involving me stressing that she can and should take any and everything she likes to get settled in to her new home, she acquiesced to taking it.
A drawer slid open.
"Can I take this?"
Cancer, you're a dick. - Dear Cancer, Fuck you. With a capital F. I get that death is the cycle of life. What I do not get is why, despite pouring billions of dollars into research...
1 month ago