You know, we live in a time of a changing vocabulary.
Ill means "cool", not "sick."
Of course, "cool" is back to meaning "a chilled temperature" as opposed to "possessing admirable, enviable traits"...it more closely resembles the phrase "old, out of touch, lost in the past" than admirable.
Today you best not dis someone, just keep it real when you are out there getting jiggy with it. If you aren't down with that, it is obvious you are not a holla back girl (no word yet on the male version of that).
Being a pimp no longer means "vile, disgusting wast of human flesh who preys on the vulnerable and engages in what could be considered enforced sexual servitude" but instead is something to be aspired to.
Of course, if you have the 411 you know that being gangsta means not that you are a violent, murderous leech who preys on society but rather you are rolling the bling in your phat ride.
Well, I am not happy with the way the language is going, so I am trying to do something about it. Thus, I have come up with some phrases and terms that, like "jiggy", are entirely created for the express purpose of improving the language.
1) to Casablanca someone
Origin: In Casablanca (1942), Ugarte (Peter Lorre) plays a weasel-like, me-first slimeball. He approaches the tough, self-reliant he-man Rick Blaine (Humphrey Bogart) for help. Rick makes no secret of his disdain for Ugarte to the point where the following exchange takes place.
Ugarte: "You despise me, don't you!"
Rick: "Yeah, I probably would...if I gave you any thought.
Thus, to Casablanca is to ignore someone you would despise if you ever considered them.
NBA Finals? When I found out it would be the Lakers and Celtics, I went Casablanca on them.
2) To Proverbs 14:7 someone
Origin: "Leave the presence of a fool, or you will not discern words of knowledge", Proverbs 14:7.
Usage: To make a get away from someone lacking intellect.
Example: "When our Senate representatives held a town hall, I Proverbs 14:7'd them and went to see Iron Man 2. At least the movie about guys flying around in iron suits taking car smashes to the groin without injury makes sense in comparison."
3) Gomer Pyle
Origin: Andy Griffith show regular and spinoff Gomer Pyle (Jim Nabors) would often use phrases such as "surprise, surprise, surprise" when discussing things that would surprise only people who should be Proverbs 14:7'd.
Usage: Mostly sarcastic. When someone makes an obvious statement, Just say, "Well, Gomer Pyle, Gomer Pyle, Gomer Pyle".
Random person when the Rose Festival is going on says, "It might rain tomorrow." to which the only possible response is, "Why Gomer Pyle, Gomer Pyle, Gomer Pyle", often followed by Proverbs 14:7ing them. In future encounters, you will probably Casablanca them.
There are more, but I think these are more than enough for us all to work on. So please, actively work to spread the word. Shamelessly repost all or part of this on your blog and encourage your friends, neighbors, co-workers, random strangers, and anybody you do not Casablanca or Proverbs 14:7 to do the same.
Oh, and if you did not laugh at any of this...I have failed miserably because I think it is smurfing hilarious.*
*Speaking of which...bonus points for including the following bonus nonsense.
Phrase: "And I'll form....the head!"
Origins: Horrific children's cartoon Voltron. They would each assemble a part. And I suspect the same member formed the same body part each time. One would think on a sophisticated, multi-part giant war machine everyone would know their role, yet each episode he would dramatically make the blatantly superfluous comment, "And I'll form...the head!" I remember very little about the show other than that. But what a great comment.
Usage: Anyplace there is nothing to be said but you feel the need to make a superfluous comment.
Example: a foursome is golfing. 3 people tee off, then one who has turned to the one who hasn't and says, "Okay, your turn."
Reply, "And I'll form...the head!"
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