Went for another bike ride tonight...yeah, I know, 3 rides in three weeks is not exactly breakneck pace. Mr Riot Kitty, if you are listening...I think I am getting SLOOOOOOOOOWER....not a good sign for our potential trip...and had some good thinking time.
One of them had to do with my youngest brother. His third anniversary is tomorrow.
Been weird watching it. All of my brothers and sisters have gotten married, three of them have had at least one child of their own. After Mom died, Dad remarried someone and brought an unknown number of half brothers and sisters into the fold (how do foster children of a step mom count?)
The changing nature of relationships always amazes me. And also scares me.
For good or ill, intentionally or not, he watched me in his formative years. With Dad focused on taking care of Mom as she went through chemo treatments and what passed for recovery from them, then trying to be the primary caregiver for the kids...a role Mom had always and happily maintained when she was healthy...meant I specifically and deliberately tried to be somewhat of a role model for the younger sisters and brothers.
Which, by the way, is one reason some of my loyal readers think I have been or am too hard on myself for some of my attitudes and actions. It is not just me they effect...but also my family, and when I have a negative influence, it disappoints me.
And the train wreck that was my first marriage...yes, I do regret not being done with her after her first affair...I wasn't...i am still paying in many ways...I was worried about how they would interact with their mates.
No, I do not think their relationships hinge on what happened between her and I. But there was an influence, like it or not (not).
With that said, through the miracle of Facebook and watching the posts of my sisters in law, I am very happy to see that my brothers do take care to put effort into their relationships.
"Little" things like bringing flowers at random times, doing special things for birthdays and anniversaries...and for no specific reason other than to make their wives happy...taking care to do things, go places, and so forth that their wives are interested in...
So happy anniversary, bro. Keep on doing the things that make the T-girl feel special and appreciated. Much love to both of you.
Seeing them do those things makes me very happy.
What I wanted to say - Dear Tootie, You are no longer suffering, and for that I am grateful. I've gone through so many feelings since you left this world Saturday. Grief, relief...
1 week ago