And first prize goes to...

I have never been able to sit through an entire Oscars ceremony (note; you could replace the word "Oscars" with the phrase "event featuring numerous self-indulgent speeches and high praise for often second rate things while first rate things worth enjoying are ignored"), much less a Tonys, Grammys, Emmys, or Kids Choice.

Not even a Miss America Pageant.

How that last one is possible I do not know. You would think an event designed to gather young, beautiful women and dress them in a vareity of provocative clothes for the express purpose of being looked at would be pretty hard to mess up. I think about 30 seconds is the longest I have ever been able to handle it.

Possibly such as because of such as pure genius such as like this. Such as.

But the real prize in that pathetic clip does not go to Miss Teen South Carolina. Obviously she was nervous and really, really, really likes the phrase such as.

What I want to know...what were the people in the audience applauding?

For what it is worth, back when I wasted my time watching State of the Union addresses, I always wondered the same thing.

"Here is the President."

Standing ovation from all the Senators. We might be in the midst of an oil supply crisis, hostage situation, spiraling inflation, war, or other train wreck of devastation, and the most insipid, banal comment spewing out fof the Presidents mouth gets a standing ovation.

(Is it a double redundancy to say "stupid, banal, comment from (insert name of politician here)? I suspect so. I apologize apologize apoligize for the redundant redundancy).

So please people...next time you are going to clap, make sure the recipient is worthy.

And if you think they were, please...consider thinking again.