Worrying about the future

****Addendum: First off, do not miss what I believe is a hysterically funny post regarding GenGhis Khan preceding this. 

Second, update on my sister. MRI results show drastic impact to 3 thorasic discs that are now bulging and major blood vessels are bulging.Arm constantly numb. Pain management will be long term and include physical therapy to get the muscles moving. No diagnosis on the lower half yet.

Third, regarding what you are about to read.

I started this post a couple days ago, then decided not to put it up. However, there has been a change in status so... new stuff after the next asterisk dividers.

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Tomorrow the Goose will be on the phone with Belmont University. They want to talk to her about her status on their waiting list for their nursing program. It is such a competitive field to get into that she has applied there as well as to every possible local program we can think of.

Unfortunately, the local ones have all been too full or she has not gotten a slot for whatever reason.

Stop, hold on for a second...isn't one of the monster problems with our medical system that there are never enough providers? Why, then, do they not open the field a bit more? When she applied at OHSU they had something like (and the numbers are admittedly hazy) 450 applicants for 35 or 45 slots. In other words, over 400 people do not even get the opportunity to pursue that career or if they do it is not in a timely fashion. And we all know that not all who are able to enter the program will complete it or stay with it.

In other words, the "shortage" is deliberately made necessary by the education system. There is not an actual shortage of people ready and willing, just a shortage of intelligent decisions at the university level. 

Get the educators needed to supply the classes for the people who want to pursue the profession. And if we can have some of the ridiculous classes we have then we can certainly spare some coin for that. Take a look through any university class catalog and you will see exactly what I am talking about.

Okay, rant set aside for now.

Anyway, the Goose and I spent some time discussing possible courses of action if Belmont admits her this year. Should just she go to Nashville? Should I quit my job and we both go? Should I stay here with Bella? Should Bella go with her? When would she come home to visit and when would I go there to visit?

Admittedly conversations with me currently are not extremely coherent. I am constantly battling fatigue and am seldom clear headed. So I am not sure everything came across clearly.

 But one of her questions was one that really had me thinking. "Would it ruin our marriage to be apart that long?"

That is a deep question. The quick and surface answer is "No, we both know why you are doing it and are willing to sacrifice a bit in the short term in favor of long term gain."

Additionally, neither of us has a wandering eye. 

At the same time, the distance will be a tremendous strain should it happen. A year or year and a half is a very long time. 

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Okay, first the good news. Belmont accepted her. She is in this year if she chooses to go.

This is a big step forward for her dreams and for our long-term future. From the standpoint of what is good for us in the long-term, going is a no-brainer. But how do you do it?

Does she go while I stay here since the plan is to return here once it is completed and it is "only" a year and a half?

Do we sell the house and move there and see what happens?

Do we rent out the house for a year and change?

It is a very scary time. We are a few days over a month away from our second anniversary. We are still very much in the "honeymoon" stage of our marriage. However, I believe that "phase" is not a mere phase but a result of how we treat each other, not because we ignore problems.

We take care to seek the happiness of the other before our own, we discuss and resolve issues instead of allowing them to build, and we generally care about the wants and needs of the other.

Still, a separation of nearly as long as our marriage would be a tremendous strain that will likely result in a lot of loneliness and calls with "I miss you" being twice daily occurrences.

At the same time, I think our commitment to each other and what is best for "us", not for "I" is a powerful ally.

So in the one hand I am extremely excited. On the other hand I am obviously nervous. 

Who knows what the future holds for us? Nashville is a long way away, but it would be a very positive step with potentially huge rewards.

Funny, usually she likes to worry about stuff in the distant future while I like to cross the bridge when we get to it, but in this case it is a possibility we have discussed extensively. And now it is upon us. What to do, what to do. 

To me the answer is "what we must" but sometimes that is easier said than done.