Co-workers gone mad

Every so often I get calls that just go beyond the pale. Here are a few classics, some of which you have probably heard before, others you haven't.

The Setup
Let's Call him Joe, my co-worker, is following up with a vendor on a quote request he had sent in.

Joe:"I sent in a quote request and have not seen a reply, I just wanted to check on the status?"
Customer Service: "Where did you send it to?"
Joe: "Fax # xxx-xxx-xxxx"
CR:"Oh, that is sales, not quoting."
Joe: "Okay, sorry about that. I assume they passed it over to quoting."
CR: "Oh no, they probably just threw it out."

Stunned silence.

Joe (rather angry tone of voice): You...threw...it...away? Sometimes I think you forget who the customer is!" Slam as he hung up.

Just classic. "Sometimes I think you forget who the customer is. I use that all the time now.


#2
Joe: "Weasel, I have John Doe from Customer X on the phone here about the RBCs you were talking to him about last night.
Me: "I didn't talk to John yesterday."
Joe: "Yeah you did, I remember hearing you."
So I take the call, talk to John for about 30 seconds and hear, "Oh...send him back. That was me he was talking to."
Yes, Joe remembered the conversation all right...except it was HIS not mine that he remembered me having.

#3
Me:"Thank you for calling, this is Weasel, how can I help you?"
x:"I need some fan-fold."
Me:"That is a product we do not carry. I believe vendor Y has that and possibly vendor z."
X: :"It is an insulation that goes behind vinyl siding."
Me: "Yes, about 1/4" thick. We don't have it."
X: "It usually comes in about 8 pieces per bundle."

Now, let's analyze this. I quickly noted I knew what the product was, where he could find it, and that he did not have it. Yet he continues explaining the product as if further explanation of it will result in this:

Me: "OH, NOW I know what you mean. We have that and it is cheap."

Bull. Don't have it, stop explaining it, hang up and leave me alone.

#4
x: "How many are in a box, 50 or 100?"
Me: "100".
"X": Okay, I need 10."

Then does it really matter how many are in the box?

The Setup
We sell building materials wholesale. We do not sell to contractors.
X:"I have a flight on Delta that I need to change."
Joe: "I am sorry, that is something you will probably need to call the airport or Delta for. We are a building materials supplier."
X: "I need to leave in the morning."
Joe: "You will still need to call the airport or Delta. We have nothing to do with that."
this goes on for like 4 minutes. All of us are in gales of laughter at poor Joe. About 2 minutes later, this takes place:

Internal operator: "She asked for someone who speaks Spanish and I think only you do."
(note: I have 2 years of University Spanish. My Spanish is BRUTAL. I know a lot more colloquialisms local to Bordonal, Michicoa, Mexico than I do legit Spanish.)
X: "Necesito cambiar mis bolletos para el aeroplane."
Loose translation: I need to change my tickets for Delta.



I should point out, "Joe" is actually a very nice and very intelligent guy. Sometimes even smart peeps do questionable things...