It is natural to be against me

Ever since I purchased the bike I have been planning to try a different commute to work. Instead of 40 minutes in and an hour home I thought I would try 2 hours each way. Yeah, I know, that is more time. But it is cheaper. A little quick math:

The Mustang gets, depending on how much traffic I hit in any given week, anywhere from 21-23 mpg, lets figure 21.5 which is probably pretty close to the mean. Mapquest informs me it is 22.39 miles. So I drive approximately 45 miles per day, burning 2.09 gallons. At 4.20 per gallon it therefore runs 8.78 per day to drive to work, give or take a few pennies.

The Max runs 2.05 each way or, bizarrely, 4.25 for an all day ticket. Economics thus indicates a mere 4.10 would let me take the Max across town, then ride my bike the last 6ish miles. Cheaper, healthier, greener...but more time intensive.

I am NOT a morning person, either. But Friday I dropped the Goose off at the airport. She will be gone for 10 days. :-( Since I was up anyway, I left the house about 4:58. Now, this is me writing, so you know things are not going to go right. And there will be diversions as I go off on tangents. Just like the one when I got back home and the Goose's chihuahua decided to zoom out the front door and run around the front yard for a while. I swear she was laughing at me. Finally I got her back inside but I was pretty irritated with the stupid dog. There is 5 or 6 minutes of my life I will never get back. I sure felt silly chasing the little laughing mutt around the front yard as she pointed and laughed.

Got to the Max station. The train was there. Cool. Paid my fare...and watched it pull out. I was like 30 seconds late. Grr. No big deal, next train was like 5 or 8 minutes later and I left plenty of time (?) for stuff like this. Pulled out the book I had brought along...I should pause here to thank my sister in law Stanica for the loan of her backpack...and started reading.

Reading is one of my oddities. I don't read one book at a time. Currently, I am reading the following:
- at work:The Bad and the Beautiful:Hollywood in the 50s, a look at the underhandedness going on behind the scenes.
- at home in bed:Leather and Larceny, a look at chicanery in baseball.
- at home in...well, NOT the bedroom:Super/System 2:A course in Power Poker, A famous tome by Doyle Brunson and various forms of poker
- in the car: Simply Christian, a book loaned to me by Riot Kitty which I need to finish.
- at random times such as during commercials during the Boston win over Los Angeles in the NBA Finals: Xenophons' March, a telling of the 400 b.c. trip through Persia by a small army of Greek mercenaries that had major implications for world history.

Now, what kind of idiot does that? Why not just read one at a time? I don't really have an answer either.

Anyway, I was able to read for about 45 minutes, interrupted only by realizing the train I boarded was NOT, in fact, the correct train...this one would take me to the Expo Center, a place I have no interest whatsoever in visiting. A quick change and I was back on track. Yes, the pun was intended...I train myself to do that. Ouch, that one sucked too.

So at last I get to the Beaverton Transit Center. I wanted to take the Fanno Creek Trail but could not remember how to get to it. So I took Lombard. Finally I got to Denny Road, remembered how to get to Fanno from there and took off. Here is where "Hey, dude...do you ever plan things?" might be a good question.

I never realized how many trails make up the Fanno Creek trail. I used to run it when training for the marathon but always from the other direction and with a crowd so I never bothered to determine where and how I was supposed to go. There are dozens of trails that branch off from it, I was running counter to them and guessing which way to turn.

As I was riding, I saw a big black patch on the trail ahead. I forgot my glasses...my vision has been really bad this week...so I was looking at it pretty intently. And then it moved.

HOLY SMURF, BATMAN, WHAT IN THE BLUE BLAZES IS THAT?

I about rode off the trail. It was a turtle! Now where on earth did that come from? A low-speed escape from one of the numerous houses fronting the trail? No clue. All I know is I was tweaking a bit.

And a mile or so further on I again encountered wildlife. There are a bunch of narrow bridges crossing the creek. Since I have not ridden a lot for years, I am...well...not super steady on the bike. So the bridges make me nervous. And as I started across one, a squirrel decided to cross. Alongside me. And faster than me.

Did you know squirrels can sense fear?

Stupid thing jumped from rail to rail right in front of me. I almost hit the smurfing thing. I had visions in my head of the battle between the hench-dude and the squirrel in Enchanted (2008). I almost hit the rail.

Now my nerves are shot and I am not even half way into my ride, I am uncertain of how to get where I am going, 2 wildlife members have violently attacked me without touching me...or engaging in violence, for that matter...but I know they were out to get me.

I crossed a major intersection and resumed my trail ride. Kind of nice...away from the road it is quite quiet and peaceful, seeing very few people so early in the morning, it is still cool...though that slows my sweat not a whit.

I sweat like nobody you have ever seen. When I used to play basketball I was sometimes called, "The Human Waterfall" because of how drenched with sweat I would get. I looked like I was in the midst of taking a shower. Gruesome.

Anyhow, as I am innocently riding along, minding my own business, I see a stray duck perched alongside the trail. Yeah, you know where this is going. I get way over to the left, as far from the malicious mallard as possible without leaving the trail. Despite my slow, laborious approach, the maleficent waterfowl somehow was startled by my hardly silent approach and took off flying. No problem...what are you doing, you daffy duck? Stupid thing swoops off to the left...RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!

For the third time in the ride I nearly crash as vicious wildlife moves in my general direction. Grr.

Finally I come to the end of the trail. Literally. I am looking at the back of a blue steel building that I don't recall ever seeing before. EVER. I used to run from work to Beaverton Town Center. I KNOW this route. Well, except this part. After careful consideration, I turned left. Not happy about it, tight, narrow road, lots of rigs driving both ways.

Promptly see a road ahead. Looks familiar. Can't read the sign. Ask a couple walking, "Which way to Hall Boulevard?" They point left. I thank them. Take off that way. Drive right under the road sign. Greenburg. Crap. If I turn right I am at work in 5 minutes. I briefly considered turning around...but I guess pride got in the way.

So now I am riding back roads that are really hilly. Finally had to walk up one hill. And ended up having to come back to...wait for it...Greenburg Road. Awesome.

Be that as it may, I got to work about 6:58. Took just over 45 minutes even with all the detours and "When Wildlife Attacks" vignettes. My legs were rubber. My shirt and jeans were soaked clear through. But I smurfing made it. And it felt good. I will try this again. But next time, I will be prepared for the mutant animals. Oh, yeah, I am coming for you guys!