Things to take to a funeral

Some things are hard to prepare for. Especially hard would be an unusual event...say, the funeral of someone who managed to live for 100 years or more. There is just something magical about someone hitting triple digits. However, at some point everybody dies. So as a public service, I present a list of things you can do to prepare for the funeral of a loved one who made the century mark.

5) Get used to looking at faded photographs

4) Get used to laughing at the foibles that doting loved ones say the deceased claimed were the keys to their longevity

3) Practice smiling for the seemingly endless line of personal anecdotes that are hilarious to the people who were there but pointless to everyone else

2) Get used to seeing octogenarians who think they are young

1) go to the bank and get a bunch of single dollar bills to tip the stripper