Free advice to newlyweds

Learning to live together with someone is a complicated process. You often find it surprising what your mate finds important that had never occurred to you and what you find important that had not even occurred to them. As a result, it can be difficult to learn to live together in peace and harmony yet that is a vital skill.

So plan to be patient.

Plan to be kind.

Plan to be loving.

And for the sake of all that is holy and a whole lot that's not, plan to wash your feet before you go to bed lest your dirty foot presence cause your wife to light you on fire while you sleep.