These are a few of my favorite things

From time to time I will get an e-mail with something along the lines of "Things About Chuck Norris" or such. Usually, these are ridiculous, over-the-top claims with the name "Chuck Norris" inserted into them. An unfortunately large number of these have to do with Chuck Norris roundhouse kicking someone/thing to death (one notable one was something along the lines of "Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a gerbil. Now we have giraffes" or something like that.)

Well, apparently, someone with more time than sense decided to collect some of them. All quotes below are from his site, Chuck Norris Facts. It ain't the only place I have seen them...but they are gathered into one place. And these are a few lines that literally had me laughing out loud.

Chuck Norris CAN believe its not butter.

Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.

Chuck Norris was what Willis was talkin' about.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding

The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry. Even the worst-laid plans of Chuck Norris come off without a hitch

Chuck Norris can cook minute rice in 30 seconds

Chuck Norris puts the laughter in manslaughter.