And you thought the Rock Paper Scissors championships were stupid...

They are. But not as stupid as this.

Seriously? "I shall overcome your superior chess skills by pummeling you about the ears until you fall in an unconscious stupor."

"Oh yes? Well I shall defend my dome throughout the boxing round and cause you to grovel in defeat when my brilliantly executed French Defense stymies your Queen Side attack and allows me to check-mate you."

Who actually thought "hmm, chess is great, but you know what would make it better? Combining it with boxing."

And what, exactly, were they consuming/imbibing/inhaling when they encountered this revelation?

I used to be a relatively talented chess player. I was never defeated in District competitions and lost but one game in State competitions from 4th grade through 7th. I played the game often (including once defeating our instructor who so desperately wanted a girl on the team that he played a game for her...then, after I beat him, gave her a rematch), , read about the game, studied the game...and I have to say, I have never thought of it as a spectator sport. Somehow, the thrill of watching a guy hunch over a board, head in hands, eyes flicking occasionally from piece to piece...I fail to see the attraction. Nor would I have believed fans of inaction would be the same people who celebrate the bloody stupidity of boxing.

I guess that is why I will never be famous...I could not see my way clear to become part of the Chessboxing Federation.

Oh, well, I will just have to console myself with originating the next great competition...the Bridge/Football Society of America.

2 comments:

Riot Kitty said...

How about the poker/soccer society of SE PDX? :)

Unknown said...

Seems like these guys might have watched the opening moments of basketball a few too many times. They then decided the sports being combined there were not ridiculous enough and created this "greatness."