Things to do when executing a robbery

5) Take your own pornography with you

4) Bring materials into the bathroom

3) Make "sex toys" out of laundry detergent, wood handles, and rubber gloves.

2) Do all this while high

1) Claim in court that, although you admittedly brought the pornography and made the other sex toy, the vacuum you brought into said bathroom was not used for sexual purposes.

Which brings us to the quote of the week:
"I'm sure that your client didn't hoover the carpets," the newspaper and AAP quoted judge Tony Rafter as saying.

If ever there was a sentence destined to be uttered in a breaking and entering sex crimes trial, that was it. Who knows, I might just adopt it as a motto.

I could go to work as a McDonalds manager, for instance. And I could be giving my burger flipper a performance review.

"How do you think you have been doing, Joey Jo Jo?"
"Good. There was that one guy that got mad."
"And why did he get mad?"
"I guess he thought having to wait was too much work."
"What did he do while waiting? I am sure your customer didn't hoover the carpets."

Or imagine I become a pimp. Of course, all our customers would use false names. Never mind. We all see where this one is going...and it ain't pretty.