Things to do before holding a funeral

5) Notify friends and relatives of the time and place

4) Make sure you have appropriate clothing to wear

3) Make sure you have a place to hold the funeral

2) Determine an order of service

1) Make sure the guy is not going to sit up in the middle of his own funeral since he ain't actually dead. The only way this story could be better would be if three people were so startled by his miraculous recovery that they had heart attacks and died.