Soccer marred by violence? Whatever.

It is a commonplace story, I am sure. Guy is cruising around when criminals catch up with him. Convinced he is well-off, they force him to take them to his home where they immobilize him. Of course, most criminals at this point would have some rope or duct tape or something to do the job. These bumblers had a better idea. First, they had him get naked because, as we all know, naked hostages are the best. Personally, if I planned to go this route I would prefer a super-model hostage, but to each their own. Of course, getting him naked only humiliates him...they needed to immobilize him so they could rob his place so they used what they had at hand...and superglued him to an exercise bike. Butt, hands...those are superglued to the bike. His lips were superglued to each other.

Now, this is already a funny enough story. The mental image I just inflicted on you is alone worth the time to type this. But the real greatness of this article is this quote:

"South Africa is battling one of the world’s highest crime rates which has prompted concerns that violence might mar the 2010 soccer World Cup, which the country is due to host."

How violent does a place have to be to scare afficionados who list as as a past job "Hooliganism" on their resume as an expectation of it being a special chance of being hired...kind of like we here in the US putting down our service awards, scholastic awards, and so forth.