Have you even been shot by a potato?

Every trip to the restaraunt is an adventure. To start with I like to joke with the hostess.

"Table for 2?" she will ask as she sees the two of us standing there. Any normal person will simply reply "Yes." Me? I go with the "No, there will be twelve of us. We only need 2 chairs though...the other 10 are voices in my head."

You would think after that I would be done with the bad jokes.

You would think wrong.

When my companions asks, "Can I have..." I always object. If you are in a restaraunt, why are you asking IF you can have it? If it is on their menu, you are properly clothed and monetarily capable, then it is their responsibility to provide that. Hence they stay in business. It is really a dumb question if you examine it. Of course, it is also a question almost all of us ask...

Another favorite is the menu. It never ceases to amaze me how people will point to the item they are ordering. I of course take perverse pleasure in pointing to something bearing no relation. "I will have the french toast" while pointing at an apple pie or coke. And much to the surprise of...well...nobody, they waiter or waitress NEVER notices the discrepancy.

But I think the best part of eating out is the menu choices. What, for example, is a "loaded potato". Is it getting ready to burp up on you like an overfed baby? Is it an overfilled diaper? What is it loaded with? Buckshot?

"What did you have for dinner tonight?"
"Loaded potatos. Judging by my buttshot I would say .45 caliber".

Loaded potatos indeed. There was somebody loaded when that phrase was invented.