The dentist

Dentist visits are always a time of abject terror. I always have to take along a fresh shirt since it is assured I will terror-sweat through the first one. I might as well be blind from the time I slip into the chair until I am out the door because my eyes never open. Mosquitos explode due to muscle tension*. It is not a pleasant experience.

A lot of it stems from my absolute paranoia regarding needles. I mean it in the truest sense of the word. My fear is not rationale and bears no relation quantitatively to the pain I experience. If I even see a needle on television I break out in shakes and a cold sweat and must turn my head. When I was training on emergency procedures for a diabetic I was physically unable to puncture an orange with a needle, much less a person as they wanted to. I pure and simple have an overwhelming, unreasonable terror of needles.

When it was legal I had one dentist who, prior to me seeing her, required me to take a strong muscle relaxer (I believe it was valium) and then gave me sleeping gas for the appointment...and that was just for cleanings, not even "real" work.

It is actually kind of funny. When I walk in the dentist, her assistants, and the receptionist all take a few minutes to rap with me, always finding it good for a few laughs. Then when the work starts the conversation patters change. Instead of me telling jokes and them laughing, the conversations go something like this:

Dr. Curry: "Breath, Drew."
Vicki (her assistant): "You have to breath. Relax."
** work for a couple minutes**
Dr. Curry: "Breath. You are turning blue."

Hard to believe I don't look forward to those trips...



* There is an urban legend that is a mosquito starts in on you and you flex the enhanced blood flow will kill the mosquito as he "blows up" in a bloody explosion. For years at Coos Bay family camp I watched people try this. Call it bad timing or bad physiques, all anyone ever got for their troubles was a lot more mosquito bites.