Comedy as social engineering

Relationship jokes are nothing new. There were certain jokes that, during the golden days of radio, were heard repeatedly, leftovers one would think from the days of vaudeville.

"Who was that lady I saw you with last night?"
"That was no lady...that was my wife!"

Jokes about mother-in-laws, shrewish wives, lazy husbands, hen-pecking and more were de rigeur for the day. Programs like the Bickersons and later the Honeymooners made their living on domestic lack of bliss. Huge numbers of shows had running jokes about how un-fun married life was. Take, for example, the short-lived Mel Blanc Show. The head of his lodge in every episode would have some joke where his wife would make some comment that was demanding of him in some way to which he would react in a way that was clearly meant to be he would like to get rid of her.

"John, you need to get rid of that oversize moldy bag." (referring to garbage)
pause
"Man, what a temptation!"
huge laugh as everyone knows he refers to her.

or the Bergen McCarthy show where the "poet laureate" recites a humorous poem about a happy relationship whose final lines go;
"Ah yes, we two are married....
but each...to someone else."

These were played for laughs but the truth is there was a percentage of social satire as well. Comedy is only funny if it has, or people at least believe it has, a grain of truth, if they think someone's "truth" is being represented. If people did not have a low opinion of the intelligence of Poles or blondes would those jokes be funny?

So it was in a long and honored tradition that Chicago attorneys posted a billboard designed to attract attention, laughs, and business:
"Life's short. Get a Divorce."

I will admit it. I think it is funny. Some people didn't and demanded it be taken down. It was. There are a lot of issues to be covered there but I want to continue in the vein I am in.

There is a huge movement afoot trying to debase the institution of marriage. Marriage is, as designed and intended, a lifetime committment between people. It is meant to last whether times are easy and fun or difficult and full of hardship. However, people have been conditioned to think that it is simply a transient stage between sex partners.

We have been taught, partially through comedy, that the natural state of marriage is two people arguing and fighting constantly, actively working to prevent or adversely affect the other ones happiness.

When I look around at the people I have known I do not recognize that marriage. The people I have known, from my own parents to the parents of my friends to my extended family, in each case have been examples of people who care deeply about one another and actively work to make their partner happier. There have been problems...but they have not only not been fatal to the marriage, working through them and resolving them has led to stronger relationships.

I do not believe it is a coincidence that the vast majority of those relationships have been based on the plan for marriage laid out by God. Meanwhile, the few relationships I have seen where the bickering and fighting take over and the divorce follows have universally been those where God plays no part in the marriage and where each person seeks their own enjoyment and fulfillment.

And where the truth of the comedic ideas represented in the first portion of this essay come to the fore...the woman is thought of not as a partner in life but as a nagging impediment to the things he wants to do and he is a thoughtless, self-centered jerk who is not willing to make an emotional connection. We allowed this psycho-babble to infest our lives until it became a self-fulfilling prophecy, amplified by the comedic voices of our generation. Instead of the voice of Cliff Huxtable we have the cacophony of people destroying any possible joy to be derived from "the squalling brats", ignoring the fact that kids are worse and worse behaved as all forms of legitimate, effective discipline are renamed "abuse" and the resultant child care systems are intrinsically abusive as the child is never taught restraint, self-control, or respect for others.

Is this solely a result of comedy? No...but I will argue it is a contributing factor that allows people to justify their behavior as being part of the social norm. What was once fringe behavior relegated to the social outcasts and misfits is now mainstream. And while I might make jokes about it myself...the truth is this is a tragedy.