How to choose a restaraunt

5) Observe menu prices.
If you notice they are shockingly high you might spend more time considering the cost of the meal than you do enjoying its flavor.

4) Observe vulinary opportunities
If you, like me, are a picky eater then you need to be sure there are menu options for your palate. Conversely, if you enjoy a wide range of foods and like to experiment your range of restaraunts will be much different.

3) Know standard practices
Are you expected to tip? How much? Do you need to make reservations?

2) Know their peak hours
You will find your experience much superior if you time your visit so you will receive your preferred ambience, whether a busy time so you get the community experience of dining with a conversational buzz or a slow time so you have a more intimate experience.

1) Make sure they have a sharp knife so if you get a wild hair and want to whack off your penis you have that capability.