How to win the war on terrorism in just a few easy steps

1) Register suicide bombers.

If hundreds are registered and there is a waiting list, advertise their opportunity. Just have them all go stand in a building and get all hooked up with a few bombs. No waiting, no wondering...you will know.

2) convince them that being martyred early and pointlessly is better than being martyred intentionally, later and pointlessly. We will be happy to drop a bomb on you to set off all those other bombs you have on you. If you are stupid enough to strap a bomb to yourself that will most likely kill you and hurt none of the people you are trying to get to then you are probably stupid enough to go to this assigned building.

3) Get rid of military intelligence and replace them with reporters. Apparently they are able to find and interview people who know where bin Laden & his gang of idiots are. Why can't the military?


Okay, so this is slightly tongue in cheek. But in a world where a guy wins no matter what you do...if bin Laden lives he organizes and inspires, if he is killed he inspires as a martyr and people organize to avenge him....how else can you look at something like this? And waiting list? That is something for season tickets, not to be a suicide bomber. Waiting for what? Viable target? Ramadan? Lent to be over? "Yeah, I am a catholic muslim, I gave up suicide bombing for lent."