Top 5 ways to get yourself banned from the pub

#5: Jump on the bar screaming "Coyote Ugly" and proceed to swivel your hips suggestively while actually repulsing everyone with your beer bellied over haired physique

#4: Declare "Patrick Swayze in Roadhouse is the best bouncer of all time"

#3: Ogle the waitstaff and say, "I like the shorts they wear at Hooters better"

#2: Order a Zima

and the number one way to get yourself banned from the pub:

play Mariah Carey music every day, in season, out of season, all the time, including her Christmas "music".


I am on the side of the pub owner here. I am just not sure lifetime banning is enough...this guy might need free tickets to the next soccer riot or something.