more internet fun...with commentary

every so often someone forwards me something that I find humorous enough to inflict on the unsuspecting readers of this here blogsite...and this is an example...along with a few words of my own, cleverly inserted in such a way that the clever observer can pick them out of the mess.






NEW WORDS FOR 2007 : Essential vocabulary additions for the workplace (and elsewhere)!

1. BLAMESTORMING : Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
Particularly fun when it takes longer to do that than to actually fix the problem.


2. SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

3. ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard

4. SALMON DAY : The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.
Mark Foley likes this one, I hear...

5. CUBE FARM : An office filled with cubicles.

6. PRAIRIE DOGGING : When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.

7. MOUSE POTATO : The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.
Except nerdier. At least the couch potato could discuss important world events such as the missed extra point that cost his team the game or what Laverne and Shirley were up to this week. Mouse Potatos have their own language...."ROFLMFAO at the video of lightsaber boy. And did you see the you tube video of...."

8. SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What Yuppies get into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.
Followed by divorcecom, the business found by said parent when they become a mouse potato and discover a website devoted solely to separating spouses from their (formerly) loved ones

9. STRESS PUPPY : A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

10. SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

11. XEROX SUBSIDY : Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.

12. IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are Annoying but you find your self unable to stop watching them.
Also known as "reality tv" by those with no sense of reality. See potatos, mouse.

13. PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE : The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again. Often feel like doing this to my computer------

14. ADMINISPHERE : The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.

15. 404 : Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error Message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested site could not be located.
You get the 911 they need the 411 but the 5-0 won't let you.

16. GENERICA : Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, and subdivisions.


17. OHNOSECOND : That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake. (Like after hitting send on an email by mistake).

18. WOOFS : Well-Off Older Folks.

19. CROP DUSTING : Surreptitiously passing gas while passing through a Cube Farm.