His mother must be so proud

I have often mocked people and their perverse wish to get into the Guiness Book of World Records for...well...pointlessness. Like whatever yutz is the current holder of the record for knowing Pi to whoever cares how many places. Way to go, loser. That skill must impress the chicks.

Or the dude that almost died a couple days ago when he tried to set the record for longest consecutive time pedaling a stationary bike. Well done...you are going places. Like the hospital...

Or for bouncing a ball the most times or having the largest rubber band collection or...okay, so I can't really come up with things as stupid as the things people do.

But all of those pale in comparison to stupidity...they all pale in comparison of lack of awesomeness to this guy...
a loser so pathetic that not only does he want the rather obscure (thankfully) record of "longest piece of skin pulled in one patch from a human body"....and what a prestigious award that would be....but he knows the size of the skin because "He kept it in a box of boyhood memorabilia along with his collections of stamps..."

The disturbingness of that quote is perhaps exceeded only by the thought of what tool he thought his sister might have used to help him peel that patch off in the first place. Is there a "sunburn skin peeling one-piece remover tool" out there somewhere? Well done, Guiness, you have done it again. I have said it before, I will say it again....thanks for nothing.