The Lumberjack Song

If you have ever heard the Lumberjack Song you know the joke...someone says something so bizarre, so contrary to their character that the statement itself, typically a harmless or even "normal" statement suddenly becomes outrageous and jarring. And therefore funny. It makes you wonder how they find people to do and say things with straight faces.
For example, I was listening to the radio the other day and a commercial came on for some dog food, I believe it was Purina One, although I won't swear to it. Anyway, they try to sell the product as making your dog healthier, although no promises were made as to wealthier or wise. I would think a healthier dog would be a good thing. The problem comes in how they want you to know your dog is healthier.
The pitch starts out innocently enough. "Watch for more energy, a shinier coat, small, firm stools..."
And there you lost me. There are a lot of bizarre activities I participate in. For example, I play a card game based on professional wrestling. I write a blog for no apparent reason. But one thing I have never, to the best of my knowledge, either participated in nor had the desire for, is recreational poop checking. I really don't have the ability to compare stool sizes or firmness. I am not even sure how you would perform that activity. Maybe there is some high-tech gadget that measures compression and elasticity in poop piles?
But the best (or worst, it's all point of view) part is...someone recorded that commercial with a straight face. Which really should not surprise me. People record worse stuff all the time. Everything I didn't need to know about health issues I have learned from commercials. Phrases like "four hour erection" and "bloating, cramping..." have entered the public lexicon. Someone says this crap with a straight face. Speaking of which, if you need to loosen your crap, you can hear a commercial about that, too, including phrases that normally don;t enter polite conversation.
There must be something you can put on your resume for voiceover jobs to the effect that, "Will read any bizarre, outrageous, intimate, or embarrasing line without breaking into gales of laughter." How else can you hire someone to give a personal testimony about a hemmorhoid or herpes cream? And don't even get me started on the people advertising baby butt paste.
At the end of the day, there are really only 2 or 3 options available. The best option would be to not hear the commercial in the first place (go go gadget cds). The second would be to laugh. But we all know we are taking the third option. I am on my way now to purchase my brand new stool checker.